Doctor: So, what's wrong?Me: I've had really bad abdominal cramping for a few days.
Doctor: Ooh, could be kidney stones.
Me: Really? I mean, my kidneys don't hurt.
Doctor: Huh. Maybe bladder stones?
Me: Uhh...
Doctor: Does it burn when you pee?
Me: No.
Doctor: Have you had heavy bleeding in your stool?
Me: I would have mentioned either of those things before the cramping.
Doctor: Huh. Well, let's X-ray you and see if we can find those stones!
(After X-ray)
Doctor: Mm, no stones. Are you sure you haven't had heavy bleeding in your stool?
Me: Pretty sure.
Doctor: Well, if you notice it happen a few times...
Me: Shouldn't I be worried after the first time?
Doctor: Yeah. That would be bad.
Me: Wait, should I expect it to happen?
Doctor: Whew, I hope not. Do you ever eat so much that it might rupture your intestinal wall?
(Doctor looks at my 150-pound frame.)
Doctor: Probably not, huh?
Postscript:
I was eventually diagnosed with "abdominal cramping" and given pain pills and antibiotics, even though the doctor seemed vague about what he expected the antibiotics to kill.
To date, no heavy bleeding, and I feel much better. And I can't say I'll stop going to that doctor. He seems to call it like he sees it, which I appreciate. And strangely, there's never a wait.
4 comments:
I had something similar last week. A tightness just below my right ribcage. It, too, went away in a few days.
Ahhh... if you had to pay for that unneccesary X-ray would you still like the doctor? (my insurance point of view. Actually you did pay in terms of exposure of some delicate parts to radiation) I also had the abdominal pains for 24 hours last week. I think its a virus.
I had to wait for two hours yesterday to have them not diagnose my acute spinal/shoulder pain. They are free with the medication though.
So I got it from you B'ham people. Bill, you're probably next.
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