Do not, repeat, do not arm yourself with the bones of Godzilla.

In one of those "don't ask how I got here" kind of moments, I found myself perusing the Godzilla page on Wikipedia today. Scrolling through it, I started to notice that the page is a treasure trove of hilarity.

Here are my favorites:

• "In the movie Godzilla x Mothra x Mechagodzilla: Tokyo S.O.S., the two shobijin fairies warn that using Godzilla's bones as a weapon is a big mistake."

• "Indeed, a translated conversation between Godzilla, Mothra and Rodan in said film reveals that Godzilla's ire towards humans is merely due to what he perceives as unprovoked attacks towards him."

• "The American version looked much more like a badger like than the original version."

• "He is also shown to have a high degree of physical strength and dexterity, often utilizing martial arts techniques in combat."

• There's really no excerpt that will do this justice, so here you go:

In Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, it is discovered that the time-travelers that had attempted to prevent Godzilla's creation had left in its place on Lagos island their own creation—three tiny Dorats—mutating and combining them into a three-headed golden abomination, King Ghidorah.

Unfortunately, they are unaware that the Godzilla they had planned to erase was later mutated by the nuclear submarine crash which would lead to the events of The Return of Godzilla. In an effort to stop King Ghidorah's rampage, an extremely wealthy corporate developer plans to send a nuclear submarine into the Bering Sea in an attempt to create a second Godzilla. Instead of finding the Godzillasaurus, the submarine would come face to face with Godzilla himself, unchanged and still recovering from the ANEB.

The Futurians’ ignorance of the past leads them to create the second Godzilla in the first place rather than removing him from history. Godzilla absorbs the power of the nuclear sub, purging his system of the bacteria and increasing his size further to 100 meters (328 feet), becoming big and powerful enough to defeat King Ghidorah.

Godzilla proceeds to attack Japan itself, but is stopped when Emmy, one of the Futurians who had turned on her fellows, resurrects Ghidorah as a cyborg in the future and returns to the past to battle Godzilla with the new Mecha-King Ghidorah. The two battle in Tokyo, with both falling into the sea, but Godzilla is still alive.

•Finally, some actually interesting information:

"One characteristic that has remained stable is his roar. It was first created by Japanese composer Akira Ifukube by rubbing a resin glove over the strings of a contrabass."