I'm most proud of the Crabs shirt.

So I saw today that MSNBC (it's been a while since I picked on them) had a story on a groundbreaking, first-of-its-kind trend: kids are wearing edgy -- sometimes offensive -- T-shirts.

No, it's true.

Of course, I don't doubt the validity of this permanent trend, but I was curious what kinds of shirts MSNBC would choose to profile. The answer basically confirmed my longtime complaint that when journalists discuss morality, they end up sounding like a grumpy retired vice principal.

Here's one of the article's many titilating case studies:

One popular merchant of suggestive shirts is Hollister Co., a chain owned by Abercrombie & Fitch. Its shirts say such things as "two boys for every girl" and "FLIRTING MY WAY TO THE TOP."

WHOAH, sorry I didn't warn you that was totally not safe for work.

I mean, come on, this stuff is less racy than a '60s beach-blanket movie. I think the Tool shirt I wore in high school was more disturbing than this.

Don't get me wrong. I fully believe there are offensive shirts out there, marketed to teens. And if I were an educator/parent/codger, some of them would give me pause. I mean, if a kid wore this shirt to school, I might understand objections. (Don't worry, no nudity on that one. Just a little F bomb.)

Other examples of salacious shirts from the article:
"yes, but not with u!"
"Your Boyfriend Is a Good Kisser"
"My Boyfriend Is a Good Kisser."
"TRUST ME..I'M SINGLE"
"I KNOW WHAT BOYS WANT"
"Single and Ready to Mingle"
"Pimps" (My personal favorite)
"Don't Call Me a Cowgirl Until You See Me Ride"

I would like to challenge the establishment with these T-shirts of my own writing:
"I'll do anything if it's yodled."
"Tuck it in. Or out."
"Low self esteem!"
"Two words: Camp site."
"I'm not teh gay, but OMG ym gf is!"
"No, but maybe after church."
"Crabs"

What about you guys? Any phrases that'll make us rich off these sex-crazed kids before their generation ages and this trend never again re-emerges?