Cafe Asteria: Zombosis

So about 15 years after I saw George Romero's last zombie movie, "Day of the Dead," Last night, I finally got to see the next installment in the series. I can't say "Land of the Dead" was one of the best movie's I've seen, but it accomplished the one thing I wanted, which was to try something new with the genre.

The biggest problem with all of Romero's flicks - Night, Dawn, Day, Land - is that they're just not scary in the traditional sense. They're gross and they're kinda philosophically creepy, but if you've seen the remake of "Dawn of the Dead," you know how much freakier they could be. Romero's just not that good of a director. His pacing and timing are awkward, and he pretty much just keeps trying the same gags. ("Nope, nothing in this room. Hold on, I've got to turn around.....agh, a zombie!!!")

All that aside, the movie plays around with some interesting themes. (Don't worry, I won't include any spoilers if you're jonesing to see it still.) Humans have staked out a safe enough life that they worry little about moron zombies raiding their fenced-in city. So they get cocky and distracted with infighting, and don't notice the zombies evolving into smarter creatures focused on goals other than eating braaaaaaaiiinnnnnnssss.

I noticed a lot of allusions to Iraq...we have the more formidable military and assume it gives us an unbeatable edge. But then we start losing the smaller skirmishes, and next thing you know, we're getting spanked.

Maybe you'll see a different message (that's half the fun of zombie movies...the other half is watching guts get pulled out), but there's definitely a vibe of insurrection and some hefty social criticism.

OK, so if you're not on the zombie bandwagon with me yet, here's a film checklist to get you started. These are my favorite zombie movies -- not to say they're necessarily great cinema.

"Night of the Living Dead" (1968) The daddy of them all. If you think about it, before this, zombies were considered more like brainwashed Voodoo victims. Romero's idea that the dead just suddenly start walking is a pretty incredible burst of ingenuity, and it's that concept that still freaks people out. In most movies, it's just a scientific experiment gone awry or a limited problem. I like Romero's epic scope, told in a very confined rural environment.
"Dawn of the Dead (Remake)" (2004) This one went with the new wave approach of "fast zombie" and really made it work more than "28 Days Later." It's handily better than the original "Dawn," but it lacks the social commentary that made the first one pretty funny. The remake is clever and fast-paced, with good acting and a nice balance of gore. The first 15 minutes, as everyone who's seen it knows, are just plain freaky.
"Bio Zombie" (1998) This Chinese movie is supposedly a spoof on the original "Dawn of the Dead." But other than the fact they both take place in shopping malls, there's not much similar. Despite a low budget and some seriously bizarre subplots, this one's a lot of fun. It's worth it just to see the zombie sushi bar.
"Return of the Living Dead" (1985) This comedic sequel of sorts wasn't endorsed by Romero, so Return's director insisted it be a funnier take on zombies than the original. If nothing else, this is the one that popularized zombies saying "braaaaiiiinnnnsss." But there are a few good gags, including a zombie who spends the whole movie wearing nothing but leg warmers.
"Dead Alive" (1992) If you know much about Peter Jackson, you know that his pre-Lord of the Rings movies were ... um.... completely insane. This is one of them. It pushes the gore factor waaay over the top. My favorite scene is when the hero clears out a room of zombies by holding up a lawn mower. If you bother renting this, be sure to get the unrated director's cut. Otherwise, it's only 45 minutes long and makes no sense.