Still not sure how I get paid to do this stuff...

We've just launched an agency promotion that I had a blast working on, so I wanted to share some of the stuff.

A few months back, we had a meeting to brainstorm ways we could promote the fact that we hired a new interactive chief. I pitched the idea of making Web videos that parodied bad-lawyer ads. Everyone else liked the idea, so I wrote up some scripts.

Here's the result, though I'll admit that some of the best lines were ad-libbed.





You can check out the full site here, and I've also been writing an in-character Twitter feed.


Hope you enjoy! The reactions so far seem pretty positive. Here's one writeup, and here's another (admittedly from the blog I write for, but still).

If you'd like to help pass the videos and site around, I'll make sure you have the people's fame and ovation forever.

I wonder if I can fit a desk in my shower.

Sorry to make all of you picture me naked, but I assure you the mental image will only last the duration of this one blog post.

Anyway, got word this morning that my boss sold one of my new campaign concepts to the client. (Normally, I would have been there, but with the baby coming so soon, I didn't risk leaving town.)

What's interesting is that I thought up the winning campaign in the shower one morning after a few solid days of intense thinking with no results. This isn't the first time the shower's paid off, either. I think it's the fact that the morning shower is a transitional time, where Home Griner begins giving way to Work Griner.

That, and the fact that our house is an icebox all damn winter, so I always look for reasons to stay in the hot water as long as possible. Concepting seems like as good an excuse as any.

Thinking about this today, I was surprised to see this quirky item pop up in the OhGizmo blog:



Yep. That's a "shower curtain calendar." It lets you scribble 12 months' worth of plans onto your shower curtain. And while OhGizmo pokes fun at the idea, I think it's awesome.

Karen and I could use it to scribble notes back and forth after the baby's come along and wrecked any hope of quality one-on-one discussion. I could get a morning reminder about trash day, scooping litter, doctor appointments, family birthdays and early work meetings I might otherwise miss!

Oh sure, I suppose this might ruin the zen, purifying serenity of the shower a bit. Or...I might finally write that book I've been putting off.

My Super Bowl ad pick.

For what it's worth, here's my pick for best Super Bowl ad:



Nice script, great delivery, simple premise. And a scary-clown joke to top it all off.

I would like the other one by E-trade, but the puke pretty well de-railed the spot.

This should clear up some things.

Not my office., originally uploaded by Griner.

I fully expect this to become a standard piece of signage, like "Not an Exit."

You guys might not know this...

...but I am SO an industry notable.

Have a great weekend, all.

'I was just glad Alabama didn't have polar bears and smoke monsters. Whew!'

I feel like I have several ideas for deep, thought-provoking and tremendously entertaining blog posts. But sadly, I lack the time to piece them into anything of consequence.

So instead, you get an exclusive look at the TV commercial I spent the past few months working on for The Year of Alabama Arts. It even features Michael Emerson, who plays Ben/Henry on "Lost." Huzzah!



Yes, I realize there's no obvious "writing" for this spot, but I did do the interviews. Except the one with Emerson. We had to hire some folks out in Hawaii to do that. Oh well.

A mere 317 posts later, blogging pays off.

So it looks like I'll be going national ... dare I say international? ... with this blogging thing.

No, not with this blog specifically. Cafe Asteria will remain an intentionally unfocused writer's journal for friends, family and some chick in Calgary.

Here's the deal: I've been asked to be a writer for what I can honestly say is my favorite advertising blog, AdFreak. It's a part-time gig, of course, so it's not like I'm leaving agency life behind.

I think this will be a great opportunity. For one, it's flattering that they approached me with the idea. For two, my boss is cool with it...as long as I hold off starting until we launch our current behemoth of a campaign. For three, I think it builds street cred for my agency to have someone involved with a blog this respected.

So thanks to all of you for keeping me blogging, thanks to Tim at AdFreak for giving me a shot, and thanks to the bookstore for being so understanding when I quit last night.

I'll keep you guys posted on when I actually start up with AdFreak, so that I can start mining you all for good ideas. As I said, it'll be a few weeks. Until then, you should still read it. That way you'll know that, yes, even MTV spots featuring hookers are fair game. I know, I know...when doesn't MTV feature hookers, right?

I will soon begin stumping for an age cap of 28.

Got some unexpected props today, when the president of my agency announced I had won the annual "Rookie Award." I think he had some very nice things to say about my work, but I was a little too surprised to hear what it was.

It was great recognition, but I also thought it was funny to be a 29-year-old Rookie of the Year. It left me wondering who held the record for Oldest Rookie of the Year.

The good news is, it's not me.

In baseball, which seems the most rookie-obsessed sport, the title generally goes to Sam Jethroe. His story is pretty interesting.

He was one of the first three Negro League players who tried out for the Major Leagues, but none of the three, including Jackie Robinson, was hired from the tryout. Soon Jethroe was picked up by the Boston Braves, and his first year earned him the National League Rookie of the Year honor.

That was 1950, Jethroe was 32, and he has held the "oldest" title ever since. The oldest rookie in the sport was another Negro League veteran, Satchel Paige, who pitched his first Major Leagues game at 42.

But the real hero I discovered today was Connie Madigan. After a lengthy stint in minor-league hockey, Madigan played his first game in the pros at age 38.

So what makes Madigan so great? His record of being the oldest NHL rookie can never be beat. That's right. Never.

Why? Check out this tidbit:

Barring a rule change, the record will technically stand forever. Due to the large influx of Russian players in the late '80s, the NHL limited its definition of rookie to players 26 and under. (Source)

So there you go. Were I a professional hockey player, I would be out of luck. But at 145 pounds, I'd probably also be dead.

Sad times at the agency.

Sadly, the founder of my company died yesterday. I know most of you haven't heard of Robert "Ace" Luckie, but he was still a frequent sight in our office and always remained interested in what we were up to. (His sons now run the company and are both great guys.)

I wish I could say a bit more about him, but I obviously didn't get much time to get to know him. However, I was honored that our president (one of Ace's sons) asked me to write the memorial announcement. I know it wasn't easy for him to work with me on something like that while his dad was so sick, but I think the end result was good, and my boss said he's gotten a lot of feedback on it.

For now, you can see the memorial on our agency site. It's going to act as our front page for a little while.

'Do you have any plans to make the PS3 not suck so much?'

I have to admit, I was one of the most pessimistic about the Nintendo Wii. It just sounded like a novelty gimmick with its nunchuck-style controller. But now that I've played it, I understand why it's become such a phenomenon. It's, you know...fun.

At the same time, I've been amazed by the spectacular collapse of the Sony PS3, which follows two generations of incredible success. How did Sony lose out to an unloved corporate megalith like Microsoft (whose 360 is both fun and powerful) and a perennially uncool brand like Nintendo, which didn't even bother to upgrade its graphics technology for the Wii?

I think this guy does a pretty good summary of the whole situation, set to the tune of "How to Save a Life" by The Fray:



Hat tip to Adfreak.

Dive! Dive! Dive! Now run!

Check out this British TV spot. The surprise is not the visual trick they pull off, but the fact that they didn't use any digital effects. It's all done with frantically running and diving actors.



You can see how they pulled it off by watching these behind-the-scenes clips.

Tim over at AdFreak wonders why they bothered, when digital effects would be so much easier.

The answer, in my opinion, is found in the fact that I'm writing about this ad, Tim's writing about this ad, etc. I think someone recognized that a trick like this would get good buzz. But does that translate into customers for...um...whatever this product is?

Let's all help out my man Miles.

New-media guru Joseph Jaffe is having a contest to select his next book cover, and one of the candidates is Miles, a designer I work with here at the agency. He was winning clearly, though one of the other candidates "magically" shot up about 150 votes.

I refuse to play dirty and exploit the admitted frailties in Joseph's voting system, so instead I'm just grubbing for extra votes. Miles' design is included here, and I'm sure he'd appreciate your support.

But as I am a man of principle, I encourage you to vote for the design you feel deserves it most.

Start here and follow the link to the vote. There's no confirmation or anything after you vote, but his blog post includes a link to the current vote tally.

Yeah, we actually did fast-forward through parts of the game.

I really have nothing of interest to say about Super Bowl advertisements. I watched them, I made a drinking game for them...you know, the usual stuff. But probably because of all the industry buzz before and after, I'm just too burned out on the topic to say anything of interest.

But hey look, The Birmingham News interviewed my boss about it! (It's hard to tell, but that article's supposed to be a Q&A.)

Other than that, nothing else to say.





Oh fine, Goulet was my favorite.

'That's also not a hair question.'

Just had to share the footage of the "press conference" held by two men arrested for threatening Boston with terrorism from the moon. My favorite part is how disgusted the reporters sound that the two guys only use their time at the mics to discuss haircuts of the 1970s.



What would you have talked about -- other than Boston's overreaction to Lite-Brites that had been on display for weeks?

Memo to journalists: When you find yourself telling a guy in dreadlocks that he needs to take things seriously, you are officially an ass.

I'm thinking it's a sign...

Two interesting things about a new UPS ad campaign, which features a guy doodling things on a white background as he explains the benefits of blah blah blah.

1. The guy is actually the creative director who pitched the idea. This would be like me being hired to do a voice-over for something I've written. It's not unheard of, but it's obscenely rare. AdFreak has some details on how this came about.

2. Check out the music playing on the campaign's Web site. That was just a nice surprise. If you've checked it out and don't recognize it, then you obviously aren't spending enough time listening to me and my brother-in-law playing music in his basement. Oh, and you can watch the video here.

Where are my freaking pants?!

For the AquaTeen Hunger Force fans among you:



While I wonder how you can make a full-length movie from a 15-minute TV show, I'm actually more bothered by the fact that they stole the trailer gag from Team America: World Police.

Update: Cheers to Tim over at AdFreak for showing that my rant about cartoons is actually pertinent industry analysis.

Bow before the Google.

I wrote the following e-mail manifesto for the folks at my ad agency, to help motivate my more technophobic colleagues to embrace new technology. I thought some of you might also get something out of it, so here you go...

Dearest friends and colleagues,

Maybe you’ve heard, but Google is taking over the world.

I, for one, welcome our new overlord. In recent months, Google has launched or streamlined some of the coolest stuff you’ve ever seen in your life. For serious.

In case you’ve been preoccupied by less important things like family, work or America’s Next Top Model, I’ve compiled a brief summary of some of these new Web tools and how they can make you better at everything you do.

Let’s get started!

• Name: Google Reader
• Address: www.google.com/reader
• What it is: A site that collects updates from all your favorite blogs, news sites and other Web pages.
• Why it's cool: You no longer have to bookmark a few dozen sites and click on each to see if the page has been updated. Breaking news and blog postings are sent to you as soon as they’re posted. Instead of cluttering your e-mail inbox, they’re all collected on Google Reader. Yes, it’s just one of many RSS aggregators, but it’s an easy and convenient one.
• How it can make you a better advertising professional: You can follow all those snazzy advertising and marketing blogs without having to check back constantly and see if some slacker consultant/author/visionary has bothered to update his or her site.

• Name: Google Calendar
• Address: www.google.com/calendar
• What it is: A visual depiction of days, weeks, months, etc., organized in a convenient 30-day, Sunday-Saturday format. You know, a calendar.
• Why it's cool: Sure, it’s just a calendar, but it’s one you can access from anywhere, meaning you can update it from anywhere. It also has tons of swank features, like being able to search for public events (aka local concerts) and add them to your calendar. Hey, maybe you have a Blackberry. You know what I have? A habit of losing small, expensive things. So I like this one.
• How it can make you a better advertising professional: You’ll actually notice that you booked yourself for four meetings at 9 a.m. tomorrow. And you’ll remember that wine tasting your spouse wanted to go to but only mentioned that one time and then got all mad because you totally forgot and you can be so inconsiderate sometimes. You’ll just become a better person all around.

• Name: Google Docs & Spreadsheets
• Address: docs.google.com
• What it is: Basically it’s Microsoft Word and Excel. Except free, and accessible from almost any computer on the planet.
• Why it's cool: If you ignore everything else in this e-mail, remember this. You just log in, tell if whether you want to make a text file or a spreadsheet, and get started. No download, no frustration. You can save and close it at any time and pull it up from any computer with Internet access. Kiss attachments goodbye. You can keep the documents private or share them with coworkers or friends, who can also be “collaborators”
• How it can make you a better advertising professional: Well, I can tell you what it does for me. I can start writing something here, update it from home, have another writer log in and write suggestions, revise it and send to my boss, all without ever opening an e-mail program. It’s not perfect for everything, but it’s about as flexible as you can get.

• Name: Blogger
• Address: www.blogger.com
• What it is: The dominant free blog-hosting site.
• Why it’s cool: I know, I know, Blogger’s been around a long while. But Google recently finished their beta test of “the new Blogger,” which added tons of improvements. You can now drag and drop features onto your blog; you can make your blog private so your boss...er, I mean your industry competitors...can’t read it; and you can run multiple unique blogs from one Gmail address. You have a Gmail account, right? Let me know if you don’t. I’ve got about 96 invites left.
• How it can make you a better advertising professional: If you’ve never contributed to a blog, then you’ll never be truly comfortable with the potential that blogs offer our clients. Until you poke around with it yourself, it will always seem like a foreign concept. We don’t have that luxury. Our clients look to us to understand this stuff, and it all starts here. Heck, just start a blog, post on it, then erase it forever. Trust me, it’s easier than you think.

Other Google sites that are cool but I don’t have time to explain thoroughly:

• Google Alerts (www.google.com/alerts) — E-mails you updates whenever there are new results for your favorite search terms. Don’t be the last person on the Internet to read something about your client, our agency or that video of you at the Widespread Panic concert.
• Google Earth (earth.google.com) — Although this one requires a free download, it’s an incredible way to look at the world (or your neighborhood). I can’t even begin to explain the absolutely endless opportunities for this. An academic friend of mine is using it to improve emergency response times for accidents. We could probably use it to sell granola bars.
• Google Patents (www.google.com/patents) — Did you know my dad holds a patent for a “system for the measurement of ultra-low stray light levels”? Neither did I. But hey, here it is. I chose to end on this site not because I think it expands our advertising acumen, but because it expands our understanding of the sheer enormity of this information revolution. And because it shows my dad is crazy smart.

Thanks for your time,
Griner


(Note: My dad has since e-mailed me a lengthy explanation of how he simply filed the patent application, and the root work was not his. This does not sway me from my opinion that he's a brilliant guy. I also probably totally misrepresent Bill's work on response times. The moral is, I don't really understand what any of you do for a living.)

I could, however, recognize a Belgian beer glass.

Hey, do you guys get paid to look at ads every day? Well if you do, have I got a treat for you. (If you don't, then, you know, check it out whenever.)

Old Spice has launched a pretty intense new campaign to try to get guys younger than my dad wearing their...um, whatever. So visit the site, and whatever you do, don't forget to check out the "Training" and "Test" portions.

You can feel free to post your test result in the comments section. (My rating shown here is from a score of 74%. I totally could not identify the major cuts of beef.)

I think I can fit a conference table in my workspace now. Maybe even a kitchenette.

A few quick updates to fulfill your blogging demands during a busy week:

• I've recorded my first history podcast with co-host Claypits Jackson (whom I think Blogger is now calling "Valerie," alas), and I'm mostly happy with the results. At 37 minutes without music or pauses, it's a bit long. But I think I can snip off a few minutes of banter. Still, it covers the first 6 million years of human history, so you have to cut me some slack.

We plan to knock out three or so episodes before pitching it to a potential host/sponsor/sugardaddy, so I'll keep you posted.

• I'm finishing my first-ever TV commercial this week. It's the mini-documentary piece I've been traveling around for lately, so I'm pretty excited. Still, it's going to be hard to cram all the good stuff we got into 30 seconds. Thank god for YouTube.

Because of all the work I'll be doing on that this week, don't expect too many posts.

• My cubicle has been re-assembled and now sports an extra foot of space between me and the wall. Sadly, a dozen people or so have stopped by to comment on what a big difference it made. Sigh.

Great news for car lovers and Motown fans.

I've been working on new Mercedes materials for a while now, and we finally got our outdoor billboards up to replace the stale ones near the factory off I-59 here in central Alabama.

For the sake of disclosure, I must admit I didn't actually write the headline. It came out of days of brainstorming with the designer, who was hesitant to even mention it as an idea because he thought I would laugh at it. But I loved it, our boss loved it, and the client loved it. So there you go.

We have a few more boards going up at the plant, so I might post more.

Oh, and the point of the ad is that the local plant is now making three models, including the new flagship GL-Class. If you're not familiar with the Alabama Mercedes plant, it's been a huge catalyst for economic development since coming to the state about 10 years ago. We now have three major automakers in Alabama, literally contributing billions of dollars in economic impact.