Friday, April 28, 2006

With coworkers like this, who needs a high-priced dominatrix?

Today's sentence best taken out of context:

Lawyers for Alarm One said the spankings were part of a voluntary program to build camaraderie and were not discriminatory because they were given to both male and female workers.

If you must know, you can read the article here. Have a great weekend, folks.

Hurry and read it before she gives into the allure of bean farming


You know I'm reluctant to throw around blog links, but some just deserve a big fat nod.

Today's is the travel diary of my good friend Brittany, aka Sadiebelle on Cafe Asteria. Brittany is noodling around South America, apparently now in Colombia. She's that rare kind of friend, where you don't mind if she ends an e-mail with "hope all is well... i am in the jungle right now and the weather is sweltering."

I'm tremendously excited that Brittany is blogging, especially since she provides a good place to check out whenever I feel that my humble Europe-Russia trip just isn't practical.

While I knew that her blog would have great writing and anecdotes, it's already provided a few little gems, like the note she got from a newspaper editor in South America about her grad-school plans: "The university is the tomb not the womb. Get out and do something. Plant some corn. Hoe some beans. Learn about life."

So check it out and join me in saying, "Good job, Brittany. Now get some damn photos up already."

PS, Britt's blog from her trip to Uganda for my old paper is still online and worth checking out, too. Her stories from our "Friends to the Forgotten" special section are there, and the blog entries are on the right.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Vacation: All I ever wanted.



After years of big talk, Karen and I have finally committed to taking a train trip across Europe next April. That doesn't give us an immense amount of time to plan/save/learn Estonian, but it does put a fire under our collective booty to make this long-planned journey a reality.

So it's easy to say, "I'm taking a train trip across Europe." Oooh, how romantic and bohemian. But now, we actually have to figure out some things. Like, how do you take a train across Europe? How long does it take? And, perhaps most importantly, where the hell are we going?

The goal was to hit three spots, which unfortunately are not in a convenient line. Paris, Prague, St. Petersburg. (Why St. Pete? I dare you to read this book and not think it's the most amazing city ever.) The rough plan is to fly into Paris, pick up our friend Alexia and spend a day or two recovering from jetlag while enjoying the city, then head out to Prague by train. After a few days there, we veer north to St. Pete and fly home from there.

Easy peasy, right? Well...

My preliminary research on one-way flight tickets shows they're a wee bit astronomical, even a year out. Then there's the wacky route. Paris to Prague isn't a stupendously crazy route, but it does involve quite a few choices on where you pass through (anybody have a preference on Stuttgart, Bern, Zurich or Strasbourg?).

Heading out of Prague and toward St. Petersburg presents a few more challenges. A direct route cuts through Warsaw and a corner of Belarus, which is apparently worth avoiding because of the extra charge for the privelege of riding through scenic Belarus.

That led me to look over at the non-direct route along the Baltic Sea. I can't say I've ever dreamed of going to Lithuania, Latvia or Estonia, but they might end up being pretty sweet. Or I might just end up seeing them out a train window on the way to Russia.

So this is your chance to weigh in nice and early to help shape our travel plan. Are there any cities/countries we should hit/avoid? Have you traveled across Europe? Any good tips? We won't be sleeping in parks or staying in youth hostels, but we won't be doing a luxury tour, either.

If nothing else, use this post as a place to talk about your dream trip...where would you spend a week or two? No islands, please, unless they don't have an airport. Then I want to hear about it.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Three reasons to rejoice on this day in 2006

1. Another study finds coffee isn't bad for you or your heart. I love these findings, even though I have an arrythmia that can be pretty serious if I glug coffee and get stressed out. Luckily, I gave up stress months ago. So, glug away!

2. Wes Anderson is in an American Express commercial, and it's pretty great. You'll also see he's got his Rushmore alumnus with him. The bayonet is my favorite part.

3. They Might Be Giants are in a Dunkin Donuts commercial (actually, a few of them), and they're pretty great. Who else could pull off lyrics so seemingly inane? It's part of some manifest destiny march by Dunkin Donuts across the continent. I was flabbergasted to learn that California natives had never heard of it. Of course, they have In-N-Out.

Monday, April 24, 2006

The immortal battle between monkey and fart can

It's always hard to pick a favorite from the great minds that make up the Cafe Asteria patronage, but I'm going to have to say that the winner of the first-ever Cafe Asteria Camera Phone contest is....DALE!

Here again is his entry:



Who among us has something stranger than fart-sound-making putty? Not me.

So what does Dale get as his prize? As I promised, or at least vaguely hinted, he gets a new nickname! Oooh, feel that electric tingle? That's excitement.

From now on, he shall be known to all as:

Dale the Portably Flatulant

This immediately and comprehensively replaces Dale's longstanding nickames of "shirtless mulch shoveler" and "the Irish Pirate." Funny thing about nicknames, while I'm here. Long ago, Dale and I were in high school chemistry together. Someone discovered that the edge of a lab table could be removed. Underneath, there was a message that said, "I'd give me life for you." Somehow, that almost immediately translated into Dale being called the Irish Pirate. It just goes to show how the most seemingly disposable moment can shape your identity.

Comment topic of the day: What's your nickname? Where did it come from? I'm willing to bet that most can be traced back to some pretty inane little incidents.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and be sure to check back often for my next contest. You might end up being as big a winner as Dale!

Friday, April 21, 2006

I feel like Darrin Stephens


Just found out that my first ad campaign pitch was received well by the client, which means it should actually see the light of day. This is a big deal mainly because I've written a lot of copy for existing campaigns, but this is the first time I actually came up with the idea, mocked it up with a designer, got it approved by the boss, etc.

I can't give any details for now, but I just wanted to share with somebody. I'm also coming up with a campaign idea that should be broadcast/printed throughout the Southeast, so I'll let you folks know if any of this goes public.

DON'T FORGET: It's your last chance to enter the photo contest, so e-mail me your cameraphone pic of the weirdest thing on your desk. Don't miss the surely amazing prize!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I suppose it would be bad if I started watching now...


You know how somtimes it feels that if you watch your favorite sports team in a pivotal game, they're more inclined to lose?

Well, apparently, if you stop paying attention to them altogether for a few years, things really start looking up. The Detroit Red Wings thus seem destined for greatness this year. They apparently have the best team since I started following them in their prime years of the late 1990s.

Sometimes I feel bad that I don't make time to watch Red Wings hockey. If it's on, I watch, but that's about it. Truth be told, it's just not that great watching even the best teams on TV. Seeing the Red Wings in person twice made for some of my favorite memories, whether it was from high up in the aging Joe Lewis (thanks, Kare!) or a few rows back from the glass at the swank San Jose arena (thanks, Kare's dad!).

Oh well. Maybe when I have a house of our own, with a nice recliner parked near a nice TV, I can bring back my college weekend lifestyle of hot hockey action, cold beer, and occasional naps during the pass-pass-pass-turnover periods.

For now, good luck, Wingers. I'll be with you in spirit.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Starbucks speaks: Griner, your complaint is groundless. Have a Starbucks card.



So a week or so ago, I e-mailed Starbucks customer service to point out that the quality of their beans has gone from "burnt but generally good" to "burnt and gnarled like tiny black gravel."

I was more polite in my phrasing, but I really was noticing that the great Bucks doesn't seem to screen its beans as well as it used to. For all its faults, Starbucks consistently had evenly roasted beans without too many misfit toys per bag. Lately, it seems there are more bad beans than ever.

(Note about today's photo -- this is an illustration of the difference between Starbucks beans, at left, and roasted beans from a small shop in Ukiah, Calif. The portion at the top left is malformed and broken beans from the Starbucks sample. For more, check out this coffee blog where I found it.)

In addition to my complaint, I did praise Starbucks for adding more fair trade coffees. I pointed out that they still have a long way to go, but any progress is good progress for coffee farmers who make pennies for something that costs more than $13 a gallon.

Today, I got my response from the hidden Starbucks superfortress atop Mount Seattle:

-----------

Dear Mr. Griner,

Thanks so much for contacting us regarding the quality of the coffee beans that you received as well as your kind words regarding our fair trade efforts.

Your feedback is very important to us, so we appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. I want to assure you that I've passed on your comments to the appropriate people in our company for their attention.

I want to assure you that we take pride in providing the best coffee available, and that all of our purchases are screened at different points in their process from growth through roasting and bagging. I would be happy to mail you a Starbucks card to replace the bag that you found to be of low quality.

If you have any other questions or concerns, don't hesitate to call our Customer Relations department at (800) 23-LATTE. Or, email us from www.starbucks.com/customer/.

Thank you again for contacting Starbucks, we really appreciate it.

Best Regards,

Bill B.
Customer Relations Representative
Starbucks Coffee Company

-------

So this is apparently an isolated incident....a once-in-a-lifetime bag of crap coffee. Oh well, at least they responded and are apparently sending me a make-good card.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Entry No. 4


Camera phone pics continue to pour in as Cafe Asteria's first-ever contest continues to find the weirdest thing on your desk.

This one's from my brother-in-law. It's unidentfied, but it appears to be some sort of stuffed monkey with a soda bottle cap on its head. I'm left with only the most important questions: What is the quality of its fart noise?

Send in yours now, by having your phone send the pic to my e-mail, griner (at) gmail (dot) com.

-----

UPDATE! Jamey says his monkey is customized with a homemade accordian, hat and tip jar. Germany says: 'Gleichmäßiges besseres!"

Entry No. 3

While you were forgetting about the new excitement, loyal Asterian Dale sent in our third candidate in the contest to show the weirdest thing on your desk.



His comments:

It isn't quite so weird as yours, but it's got three canisters with "Flarp!" written on them. So it's a step above mundane. If you haven't played with Flarp, then it's a must-have. Nothing makes more realistic fart noises.

But shouldn't Brendan dye his hair black?



I'm generally not a big fan of collaborations, be they musical, literary or otherwise. With music, it seems like a collaboration yields muddled fruit -- two singers from very different genres creating an ego-driven product that doesn't appeal to fans of either.

But enough negativity, because there's a collaboration afoot that just about makes me clap my hands fast-like and giggle.

Brendan Benson, a geeky but talented singer/songrwriter, is working with Jack White of White Stripes fame on an album coming out in May. The band is called The Raconteurs, and the album is Broken Boy Soldiers.

I know I should reserve jugdment until I at least hear the single, but I have grounds for optimism. First, I'm just glad they're calling it a band. Not, you know, "Brendan Benson vs. Jack White" or "Jack White, with Brendan Benson and the Gold Toof Mafia" or something.

So has anyone actually heard these guys yet? I could probably poke around for a clip, but I'm lazy. I'll just cuddle with my optimism and hope for the best.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Unquestionably sound theories



Frequent commenter and beloved Cafe Asteria treasure Drea has floated a perfectly reasonable response to my previous question: Why do men prefer male singers, while women like to listen to women?

"... I really think the reason most people prefer the same gender is that they can sing along easily to their songs."

Elegantly simple and logical. Maybe that's why I like Concrete Blonde. But...I really like Portishead, largely for the same reason I like Radiohead...they can hit notes that are beyond the capabilities of myself and most dolphins.

Thoughts?

Oh, and I want to take this opportunity to air one of my musical pet peeves: Covers where the gender of the subject is changed to suit the gender of the singer. (Tiffany's "I Saw Him Standing There," etc.) Wait, did I just reference Tiffany? And would I really want They Might Be Giants singing "Maybe I know that he's been cheatin?"

Oh well. Create a bulletproof theory, dismiss criticisms of said theory, then conveniently forget you ever floated the theory. ("The only good sci-fi movies involve aliens that swarm like insects," etc.) It's just what I do.

Friday, April 14, 2006

The new excitement: Cafe Asteria Camera Phone Contests

In my ongoing effort to add interactivity to ye olde cafe, I'm starting an occasional camera phone competition. We all have em. Let's put em to good use.

The topic for the first one:
The weirdest thing on/in/hanging above your desk at work.

My entry:



It's a urine sample cup with an easter egg. Both are surprises from my company...one from April Fools, the other from yesterday. I'm going to see if I can build it into some sort of holiday shrine.

HOW TO TAKE PART
Just take the pic in the next week and have your phone send it it to me at griner (at) gmail (dot) com. I assure you, it should work. Feel free to include a description, or not, but follow it up with an e-mail letting me know who it was from. The winner will get...I dunno...a new nickname, probably.


------

UPDATE: Our first entry

This from Em:


It's her cat mug featuring scissors, chopsticks, a fork and some well balanced eggs. A lesser person might have photographed the hat in the background, but who am I to judge?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Shocking confession: I like guys.

As I was burning ... err ... tracking down original versioins of some CDs to loan to a friend, I stumbled across something that's concerned me off and on for a few years now. It doesn't concern me to the level of "Is shaving once a week too little or too much?" But, you know, it's in the back of my mind.

Anyway.

I seem to overwhelmingly prefer guy singers. Most fellas seem to, as well. (With one recently noted and glaring exception.) And most of the women I know seem to prefer female vocalists. The permutation of this is that women seem more likely to like male singers than the other way around. Plus, is there a female equivalent of Coldplay or John Mayer? (Meaning, is there a woman that guys would like, but women would consider poorly representative of their gender?)

So back to the question at hand: Do men prefer to listen to men, and women to women? If so, what does that say about us?

OK, discuss.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Wait, there are other blogs out there?!

After recently re-posting my original blog entry, I feel justified in breaking one of the initial rules I established. Namely, I said I wouldn't link to a bunch of other blogs. I think I've been pretty good about this, and I don't plan to make it a regularity.

BUT, I wanted to pass along some sites that help me get through slow days while still motivating me in my new profession. While some of these are advertising-oriented, I'm only listing the ones that I think each of you will enjoy:

AdFreak - While part of the much more staid Ad Week, AdFreak is the most consistently updated and fun advertising blog I visit. It's got a quirky voice and avoids industry politics. Plus, if it weren't for them, I'd never find gems like this little guy.

AdHunt - This one's so much fun, I think I breezed through all the available archives in just a few visits. It's an international collection of whacky ads, some risque and some just plan bizarro. Possibly not safe for work, if you work for a bunch of prudes.

Minor Tweaks - I don't really read this blog, but AdFreak recently linked to a section where they e-mail corporations with fake compliments. Some of the letters and responses made me titter, I must say. Oh, and there was this classic post about a Duke of Hazzard.

Gawker - I don't care a tinker's cuss for New York gossip, so I'm not sure why I like this blog. But I do. Maybe it's because they seem to care so intensely about something so vastly unimportant. It reminds me of those people who protested for Fiona Apple. I mean, who cares that much? Oh....wait...it's someone from Columbia, MO. But I digress. Oh, and I should note Gawker uses some pretty rough language, in case you're sensitive about such things.

Romenesko - If nothing else, this is one aspect of my journalistic life I still cling to. Most of you who aren't already reading this blog will probably find little interest in the goings-on of newspapers, but if it weren't for this blog, I'd never learn about things like the obscenity in a New York Times Crossword. (Don't worry, that one's only unsafe for work if you're working in the year 1912.)

Hope this helps pass some time for you all.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Extreme puppy makeover

As you might know, our dog Jonas shares our current housing with two others... my sister's dogs, Loki the Brittany Spaniel and Picasso the Spanish Water Dog. Today was Picasso's first annual shearing, which had dramatic results.

The before:




























The after:


























The side view:


Friday, April 07, 2006

10 months, 100 posts....I'm so lazy


Egads, people. We've reached an honest-to-god benchmark! CafeAsteria has now had 100 posts, all by little old me.

When I launched this bad boy last year, my goal was just to create an easy way for me to keep family and friends posted on the increasingly unpredictable question of what was happening with me and Karen. Obviously, we were in California at the time, and we were both ready to move along with our lives. But where would we end up? Oh, the drama! But, you know, the answer's Birmingham.

Yes, given its humble origins, I didn't expect this blog to become an international sensation racking up thousands of hits a day.

And thank goodness, that never happened.

My patronage still seems to be our loyal friends and family, several of whom now read my posts days after taking part in the actual events being described. It's like reality TV ... with a REALLY SLOW lagtime. Wait, don't reality shows generally have a lagtime of six months or so before airing? Heck, I'm way ahead of schedule, then.

So how am I celebrating? Would you believe we're going to fly to Spain's Costa De Morta to visit the real Cafe Asteria? No? That'd be nice, though. It's the one pictured up top.

Or maybe the tourist-packed Cafe Asteria on the Greek island of Poros? Nah.

Instead I'll just paste in my first-ever blog post for nostalgic effect. Thanks for reading, folks.


Let's get brewin

Here's the plan. The best way to write more is to force myself, and what better way then to push myself out onto the virtual ledge of the blogging world? Thus, I'm kicking off Cafe Asteria.

What you won't find here: Political rambling, angst-ridden poetry, a flurry of links to other blogs.

What you will find: Some random thoughts, some fun new things to think about, and probably some recipes. For my friends and family, it'll be an easy way to stop in and see what I'm up to. For everyone else, it will be a momentary break from a Web world that always seems itchin for a fight.

So here goes.