I am my daughter's father.

That's me on the right, circa 1978. Allison's shot is from a month or two back.

Take that, mailman!

New day care, new blog, new big-ass shed.

With my usual apologies for a dearth of updates here, I wanted to fill you guys in on a few things that have been going on around the Griner household:

1. Allison finally got into a great day care. She's now in the new infant room at a local Catholic church, which we were amazingly impressed with when we toured it several months back.

After our previous run-ins with bad day care, it's nice to have a place that's so attentive to her. But we do think it's strange that they've called us twice with concerns about her health: once because she was sleeping too much, and once because she wasn't peeing. I'm waiting for the panicked call where they tell us her poop smells entirely too good.

2. As you might know, I've started a new blog for work. It's dedicated to all things social media (blogs, social networks, messaging, etc.). I don't know if you'll enjoy it as a normal human who's not into marketing or the evolving Web, but I'm trying to write it in a conversational tone anyway. And every Friday I feature a "Cool Tool of the Week" that you might actually find useful.

3. We're almost done with the large garden shed in our back yard. I can't imagine how long it would have taken without the intense help of several friends and, most notably, my wonderful parents. They all even came over and got much of the work done while we were out of town visiting Karen's family. Thanks again to everyone who pitched in; the shed's going to make a big difference in our storage situation.

Here's a shot of the shed as it is now:



You can see a whole gallery of the construction on our Flickr page.

As I said, we're "almost done." Really the only major tasks left are getting rid of the extra construction materials and painting the exterior (once the Alabama summer humidity dies down a bit).

Right now we're thinking the shed will be a pale yellow. But if you want to stump for chartreuse or something, now's your chance.

"Is that a bloodstain on her bib?" "No, it's just feces." "Oh OK...wait what?" (aka, How Allison got pulled from day care)

For months now, I've been tremendously unhappy with our day care. We liked it when we toured back in the pregnancy days, but things were bad by the time we started dropping the girl off.

As of this week, we're done with the place. (There was much debate among my Internet-savvy friends about whether I should name the day care here...for the moment, I favor not doing it in hopes they'll improve. But I will say it's near the intersection of Alford Avenue and Interstate 65.)

Anyway, back to the story:

In recent weeks, Karen kept saying that things were great when she picked the baby up each afternoon. But when I was dropping her off in the mornings, it was like playing a game of "Find the Violation."

A few highlights, so that you don't think I'm being persnickety:

1. At first, despite asking, we got no report cards on when she was eating, napping, pooping, etc. Then, after multiple requests, we started getting incomplete cards. (She ate once today! And never got changed, apparently! Unlikely.) Eventually, after much grousing, they started giving us decent reports.

2. At least three times, I found one teacher in a room with 8 or more babies. Once as many as 10. The state doesn't allow you to have more than 5 per teacher. I once insisted on staying in the room until someone else showed. It wasn't long, but that was an awkward minute or two. One time, they even left Karen BY HERSELF with the babies. Hoo dog. This whole thing was merely laziness and poor organization...there was always plenty of staff to oversee the kids.

3. They keep no record of giving her medicine, like gas drops. Once, they plain forgot to give her Tylenol when she had a fever from vaccinations. That's really bad. They got defensive with Karen, blamed her for not telling them, then eventually admitted that they had just forgotten.

4. One morning, the state inspector was walking up to the door while I was there. What ensued was no less than a full-on freakout. Staff screaming, panicking, running around in terror, making me fill out forms I had already filled out, admitting they didn't know where to keep the forms, etc. But they apparently passed the inspection OK. The place was generally clean. I'll give them that.

There were other small things, like the fact that I've never seen anyone smile in that entire building, but I'll skip to Monday's story.

Karen went home sick, so I went to pick up Allison for the first time ever. It seemed fine; two teachers were watching two babies, Ally was happy, etc.

But then the teacher went to change her diaper one last time, and I noticed that there was a dark red stain on her bib and on her outfit. This was especially freaky because Ally doesn't eat anything but formula yet.

I asked if it was blood, and the teacher said, "No, she had a really big bowel movement today. It was everywhere."

It took a while for my brain to process this. Not blood: good. But wait, that means there was feces next to my kid's chin for a few hours? And that was cool?

To be honest, I didn't know what to do, so I just took her home and told Karen. We both agreed it was preposterous and called the assistant director. (We had never seen the director on site.) The woman got defensive, kept telling me it couldn't have been poop. She also kept calling Allison "he," which didn't go over well with Karen.

Finally, they called back and said that someone had "spilled sauce" on her, and they had forgotten. I'll admit that's better than feces or blood, but why was someone pouring sauce over my baby? Were they wheeling her around in a hot dog cart?

They gave us no apology and no real reason to ever bring the baby back, so we quickly called another nearby day care and snagged a spot for the next day. It's not great...but tremendously better in terms of people skills.

I had a long talk with the director on Tuesday, and it's mainly because of her profuse apologies and promises to "address every concern" that I didn't name them here. She's also supposedly refunding out payment for this week.

This is already a rambling post, but let me finish with a few tips for those who might be looking for a day care someday:

1. Pay more attention to the people than the facility. Both are important, but we made the key error of picking the more-organized place with the crappier staff.

2. Face the fact that affordability has its price. The truly good day cares seemed outside our price range, so we settled for one that was "meh" at best. Since then, we've just focused hard on juggling the budget to meet the reality that we're going to have to shell out big bucks for a place that will actually treat our kid the way we would.

3. Get on a waiting list early. I know everyone says this, and a long waiting list does not a great day care make. But if the place doesn't have any waiting list, there's very likely a reason.

I laugh about a lot of this stuff now, but the truth is that this situation has been a massive, almost crushing source of stress for me. Looking back at this list of warning signs, I keep thinking I should have yanked her earlier. But all I can do now is hope that I learned an important lesson with little more harm than a vaguely blood-looking sauce stain.

Karen's pregnancy, in less than a minute.

Griner's guide to useful newborn swag

I've been meaning to blog about the stuff that really paid off during our first few weeks of parenthood. So here goes. Hopefully it will prove to be of use to future first-timers like us.

Vital: Swaddling blankets, regular and velcro.

Babies either love or hate swaddling. You'll know pretty quick. Ours is a lover. When she's fussy, nothing beats a tight swaddle. I think it's been the single biggest factor in Allison sleeping exceptionally well each night. (We usually have to wake her for the 2 a.m. feeding.)

There are tons of diagrams and videos out there to teach you swaddling, but I recommend asking the nurse or pediatrician once your newborn is actually out. Ask about "double swaddling" with two blankets. It can't be beat.

There are velcro swaddling blankets/sacks that are nice and highly recommended, but they'll never be as tight as a fine hand-rolled baby cigar. Remember, no swaddle is too tight, but it CAN be too loose (which poses a smother hazard).

Vital: Mylicon (but go dye-free and generic)

We call this anti-gas medicine "liquid diamonds," not so much because of its value as the fact that it only comes in teeny tiny bottles that last about two days. Honestly, I have no idea how effective it is, but gas is a huge problem for newborns, and our doctor said it's safe to give the baby Mylicon with every meal (and double at the last feeding of the night).

Try to find the generic version, and definitely get "dye-free." Otherwise, you'll be paying a lot and enjoying pink stains on everything you own.


Vital: Lots of pacifiers.

Just get a bunch. More than you think you'll need. Ditto for bottles, but we'll get to that.

Great: Diaper Champ

Simple design, and slightly less eco-disastrous than the Diaper Genie (which wraps each diaper in its own sack). As far as turd buckets go, I've been very happy with this one.

Great: Crib-side entertainment

Ours is a battery-powered jungle scene that lights up and plays music when you hit the button. (Amazon tells me it's called a "Fisher-Price Rainforest Peek-A-Boo Waterfall Soother." Vomit.)

It only runs for a few minutes, which is usually enough to knock the kid out. And I have to say, the music really doesn't bother me ... even after dozens of listens.

Great: A bassinet/cradle

We have a small house, but it's still been nice having the small cradle/bassinet that my dad built way back in history for my oldest sister. It has since held just about every baby in my family, and there's nothing better for easy baby stationing outside the nursery. As you can see in the picture, we even pimped ours out with an undercarriage black light. Just kidding. You'll only get to enjoy that upgrade if your baby has "teh jaundice."

That said, the kid doesn't really move around, so a laundry basket or dresser drawer (removed from the dresser, please) will do just fine.

Great: Dr. Brown's bottles (but hand-wash em)

If you're going bottle, this is the way to go. Easy to use and vaguely easy to clean.

Big caveat: Their clear bottles have been found to leach BPA, pleasantly described as "a hormone-disrupting chemical" that's been linked to premature puberty and cancer in lab animals. We had already bought ours when that study came out, so we're just careful about hand-washing the bottles themselves and using the dishwasher for the nipples and such.

There's supposedly a non-BPA model coming out, and there's also glass bottles if you don't mind the potential of your baby smashing it on the side of the crib and starting a bar brawl. (Karen has an awesome scar on her knee that has generally prevented us from seriously considering glass.)

Debatably great: Video monitor

Karen loves this thing because it provides immediate release for new-mom paranoid fears like "is my immobile baby still in the crib?" or "has someone replaced my baby with a big jar of Folgers crystals?"

I like that the monitor helps Karen relax, but I find it to be pretty pointless. Our house is very small, and I can hear Allison just fine from anywhere short of the backyard utility easement. Of course, if you have one of them fancy big houses with multiple floors and walls that actually inhibit sound, you'll probably want a video monitor.

Downside: You'll inevitably have nightmares about seeing zombies in the monitor. Or, if you click on the image above, you will now.

My favorite/most useful books: Happiest Baby on the Block, On Becoming BabyWise and Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads.

We read quite a few books. You'll likely end up with most of the standards, but be sure to pick up the three I listed above. Happiest Baby teaches you how to calm a screaming kid. BabyWise teaches you a very successful sleep/eat schedule. Be Prepared is mostly just entertaining for dads, but it has some tremendously helpful advice (like the fact that it's OK to feel no emotional connection whatsoever when you're staring at your newborn).

Well, I hope all that helps someone out there. Maybe I'll do an update in a few months when I figure out what's worthwhile for toddlers. Oh, and of course you should all feel free to post your own findings and suggestions in the comments section.

Allison Guy's birth: The slideshow

To scroll through the photos or find specific ones to print, visit the online photo gallery.

More updates to come, but the quick version is that everything's going great. Thanks for all the notes and support!

Allison Guy is here!

Born at 3:01 p.m. today, weighing 7 lbs. 3 oz.! More photos and reactions to come, of course.

Karen did fantastic!

Baby update 3: 1:05 p.m.

Things continue to go great. The doctor just came in for an exam and said Karen's 7 cm and 100% effaced (for those of you who understand the relative meaning of such things).

Not sure what this means for the timing. The doctor said "a couple more hours," but I'm thinking we'll be here a bit longer than that. Part of my assumption comes from the fact Karen is still totally relaxed and still reading a book. Of course, this might be because of her new best friend, Mr. Epidural. I got to rub one of her feet a few minutes ago, so at least I am earning my keep as something other than the birth blogger.

Baby update 2: 11:15 a.m.

Things are still going well, but slowly. Karen's epidural is in and working perfectly. She's been an incredible trooper so far, especially when they had to draw about a milk jug's worth of blood out of the back of her hand.

That said, I smoked her at gin rummy 2-1, so she must be a little distracted.

Baby update 1: 9 a.m.

After a surprisingly good night of sleep, we're back at the hospital, and the show's begun. Karen has started the induction, and contractions are slowly growing in intensity.

For now, she's comfortable, resting and reading a vampire novel. Pretty mellow scene at the moment, but I'm sure that'll change fast. So I'm not sure if I'll get a chance for another update before things get serious.

We're at the hospital. Aaand...now we're not.

First update: 3:35 p.m.

Karen's water broke about an hour ago, and we're now in our room at the hospital. Karen's comfortable and getting ready to see the doctor. No serious contractions yet, though, so it's hard to say how long this night is going to be.

More to come!

Second update: 4:36 p.m.

A bit of a false alarm, so we're heading home. Hospital offered to let us stay there, but we'll likely get more sleep at the house. (But still probably not much sleep.) We'll be back there first thing tomorrow morning to start the real show. (Promise.)

We picked a name and a monkey-robot nursery theme. Can't we just use a dartboard for the rest?

All things baby related are proceeding well. Karen and I have obviously had to stumble somewhat blindly through the many selection processes -- pick what to register for, find a day care, pick a pediatrician, etc.

I feel like we've been pretty lucky with each of these, considering how little experience we're operating from. Stacy was a huge help with picking registry things we'd actually need, and hand-me-downs from her and Kim have negated a lot of decision making.

The day care was pretty easy. We toured three. One was complete crap. Chaotic, messy, grumpy staff, bad vibe, hefty price (at least for that level of crapiness). The second was nicer but just felt cramped and loosely organized. We ended up going with one that was a bit sterile and institutional, but well coordinated and safe. They had cameras in each room (really just a psychological barrier to keep workers from losing their cool), lots of sanitary precautions, a helpful staff and a ton of space indoors and out. Plus, it's close to the house. Score.

Pediatricians were a little tougher, because you're picking a person, a location and a business.

The first one came highly recommended, but there were some snags that were immediately noticeable. First, the practice is in a hospital complex, which means parking stinks (and costs money...no validation). The waiting room felt messy and uninviting, and I'm guessing I'll have to spend a lot of time there. The doctor herself was nice enough, but she spoke 100 miles an hour and never came up for air. I was left feeling stressed and confused, just from the atmosphere of our conversation.

Plus, the practice seemed to shovel a lot of the work onto nurses. Phoned-in questions were answered by nurses. After-hours calls were divided up with another practice entirely. And the doctor only worked three days a week (no doctor there works more than four). Finally, she rushed us out the door because she had a backlog of patients.

Luckily, we found a place the next day that was everything the first one wasn't. The practice is in its own brand-new building with its own free, covered parking. The waiting rooms are comfortable for adults and, presumably, kids. The doctor was fantastic. Calm, supportive, upbeat and practical. Plus, she's only 38, so odds are good she'll be around a while.

I have no idea what the next "Oh my god you haven't done that yet?!" decision will be. But at least we've found that trusting your gut is about the only thing you really need to muddle through.

Oh, and congrats to our friend Sarah, who just made it through 10 hours of labor, 2 hours of pushing AND a C-section. If our kid puts us through that, she better damn well be the next Doogie Howser.

A (not so) quick wrapup of the many things going on.

I keep wanting to write epic blog posts about all the different things we've got going on lately, but I never have the time to actually write them. So I'm going to cop out and just give you guys some big updates in bullet form.

• We're having a daughter. Sorry if you're just now hearing about it, but yes, it's true. We're quite excited, nervous, etc. Karen's about halfway along and has had a pretty much ideal pregnancy. (No sickness, no super-crazy cravings or aversions, etc.) Read more over at Karen's blog if you haven't already. If you're my daughter reading this in the distant future and wondering how your dad announced the big news....um, sorry about this.

• We're adopting a cat. That's the plan anyway. Tomorrow, we're scheduled to pick up a kitten that was brought into our vet. It was found hiding under a car and has since been named "Volvo," which I assure you will not last. If this ends up causing too much craziness, our vet has assured us we can bring her back at any time and they'll find a good home. So at worst, we're fostering, but I hope it'll work out long-term.

• We're painting our house. And it is an epic affair. After two steady weeks of work, we've only completed about 1/6th of the house, but it looks INCREDIBLE. (We're going from horrible mint green to a sort of dark cedar. I love it.) Again, I steer you to Karen's blog for the backstory. We'll have some great in-progress photos soon, and I'm especially excited about my parents coming down to help next weekend.

• I got to see They Might Be Giants Friday night in Atlanta, which was great. They played a good mix of old and new stuff, although they did seem pretty exhausted from all the touring they've been doing. (Thanks to YouTube, you can see a video clip from the front row, which is far closer than I was.) I picked up an autographed vinyl copy of their new album, which will make for a fun memento. Had a great time with my old California friend Jeff at the show. Maybe too great a time, because....

• Saturday was one of the worst days of my life. Not really sure why. I didn't drink a tremendous amount Friday night, and never even really got that tipsy. But Saturday was literally a gut-wrenching day of frequent, sudden stops along the interstate. I came home, passed out and woke up about 20 hours later feeling quite a bit better. I'm blaming the gypsies who fed me before the show. They'll probably come for my baby in a few months, too. (Actually, the restaurant was tasty, if a bit underwhelming in terms of menu choices.)

Sadly, I had to miss our monthly Supper Club with friends and family (sorry again, guys), but another drive up to Huntsville was far, far out of the question.

• I've been playing around quite a bit on Facebook, which is a world of better than MySpace. If you're on there and you haven't found me yet, let me know. All sorts of friends from college, high school and elsewhere have come out of the woodwork on there. I even started a group for advertising bloggers, and it already has more than 80 members from around the world. Crazy. (If you have a Facebook account, here's the link to the group.)

• Work is going wonderfully, but it's definitely keeping me busy. Just embarked on a huge new project that should be fun. It comes on the heels of this huge project, which was a good time. I have an office now, which is a first in my career. It's quite nice and serene, and I'm actually somewhat close to my colleagues now.

I don't have much recent stuff I can really show off, but here's a fun "save the date" card I made with designer Miles to promote an HR conference. The client is a local law firm.

FRONT


INSIDE



• Our TV is broken, and it's become quite an ordeal. We took the 180-pound monster into a repair place, which eventually said they fixed it (for $125....not terrible). After dragging all 180 pounds BACK home, I realized it was still broken in the same way. (But thanks to Greg and Valerie for helping load it into and out of the car.) The repair guys are picking it up tomorrow and waiving the $50 pickup fee, but we'll see how it goes.

If it ends up costing too much more or being unfixable, we're looking at this 37" LCD by Vizio, which sells for about $750 at Sam's and has gotten good reviews for such a cheap model. Anyone out there have any other recommendations? We're replacing a 34-inch CRT by Phillips, if that gives you a sense of perspective.

• Jonas has ballooned to 73 pounds. I'm starting to think he's actually a manatee.

OK, that's plenty of updates for now. There's so much more going on, but I'll try to be better about keeping you all up to speed more regularly. As always, you can enjoy my blogging antics somewhat daily over here.