Thursday, August 25, 2005

Must...stay....focused

I've never been one to specialize, and I'm starting to wonder if that has been a bad approach to life.

When people first get to know me, they often refer to me as a "renaissance man," but it doesn't take long for folks to realize that it's really not that impressive to know a little of everything and a lot of nothing.

Right now, I'm studying massage, practicing jujitsu, and reading a book about modern dictators. But I doubt I'll ever move past the beginner massage, nor will I probably ever get a black belt in jujitsu (just like with my other two martial arts), and I seriously doubt I'll read another book about dictators. I might not even finish this one after I get past Idi Amin.

I majored in design, started my career as a writer, and quickly switched to editing. Now, looking at job opportunities around the country, I'm realizing that there are few people looking for "someone who can write, edit, design, review video games, critique bloody marys, etc." The only places looking for someone like that are papers even smaller than mine, and what they really mean is, "We're looking for one person to do everything, get paid nothing, and be found dead someday on the floor of the office."

Don't get me wrong, I take a lot of pride in the fact that Karen and I try a little of everything. We've done swing dancing, Thai boxing, and now massage together. We've gotten decently skilled in the kitchen, mildly savvy with wines, and relatively well-traveled.

But sometimes I get jealous of my friends who've really stayed focused in life. Because Bill is my most loyal blog reader, I'll use him as an example. He has two second-degree black belts and is amazingly skilled at ... um ... whatever computer stuff it is he does all day. Yet he also dabbles in hobbies like guitar, cooking, etc.

It's obvious I just don't have that level of focus. Perfect example: Just after writing that last sentence, I opened a new window to check how much we had left in the bank. I couldn't even stay focused on finishing a thought about being focused.

When I was interviewing in Virginia, one editor said he didn't think I'd move on to that level of a paper without deciding how I was going to focus my career. That left me thinking two things: One, I can't say I like the idea of focusing my career on one thing just yet. Two, how do you get good at one thing if a paper like that won't hire you to try it? This is why large newspapers end up with dozens of people who are great at the one thing they do, and that's about it. Meanwhile, small papers are filled with people who might be asked to do anything on any given day. I have to say I'll miss that level of freedom if I do bump up.

Don't hold out for a point here. I'm basically just trying to make sense of this doubt I've been feeling lately as weeks go by and I still haven't heard back on the job. I think the root of my frustration is the fact that I'm 28, and if I haven't figured out how to stay focused on something yet, I likely never will.

Oooh, look, a bird! Gotta go.

3 comments:

Christian said...

Join the club. I've tried karate, guitar, writing, geocaching, composing electronic music, photography, Internet radio... And I always end up moving on when another shiny object catches my eye.

I didn't finish college because I wanted to get out there and "do something for real". But when I did, I found that every few months I was wishing I'd taken another career path. My new job as a QA engineer is great, but I keep thinking that I have too many skills that don't get utilized. I'm a lot happier when I have a lot of hats to wear, so I know how you feel.

Griner said...

Thanks for the solidarity, brutha. The one nice thing (generally) about journalism is that no matter what, it's different each day. But my job's kinda devolved into an assignment editor, and that takes away a lot of the random fun of it.

vo0do0chile said...

I crown myself president of the club. I picked a career where you have to be a jack of all trades if you want to survive (at the bachelor's level anyways) and then I dance, exercise occasionally, make jewlery, sometimes do pilates play video games, and wish that I had time to sing and play piano too. Not to mention all the things i'd like to do if I had the skills like music video deisgn (i was not kidding about this one when i wrote about it a couple of months ago in my blog) and occasionally, I still get it in my head that I would like to be a professional dancer, but that's more of a daydream than anything... oh yeah, I forgot about wanting to teach dance, but I can't do that if I work full time elsewhere, and I can't teach dance full time.... oh.. there's cooking too... and silhouetting and... i'm sure i'm forgetting something.
I actually have fun being good or fairly good at lots of things instead of being god of one thing.