Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Yep, it's already been a year.

A year ago today, Karen and I got up early, picked up some pastries at Mekka in downtown Nevada City, loaded our animals into two cramped vehicles and left California.

(Of course, I was blogging back then, so you can always read about Day 1 of our cross-country drive.)

But I feel like now's as good a time as any to look back at what a long, strange year it's been since we headed over Donner Pass with all the belongings we could fit into a rental truck and Karen's Honda.

At the time, we didn't really know where we were going. I was still in consideration for a job in Athens, Ga. I had turned down a job at one of the best papers in America, which I have not come to regret as much as I thought I would.

But we knew we were doing the right thing, even if the Georgia job didn't work out. (Which it didn't.) Our time out west was done, and we were both ready to be closer to our friends and family.

Living with my sister was meant to be a temporary fix...a few weeks, maybe. It ended up being nine months, but it was a great nine months. They sheltered us while we hunted for the next step in our careers. I worked full-time at the Barnes and Noble cafe while Karen worked at William-Sonoma. Then she was at the Wildlife Center and I was consulting. It was kind of a flurry of jobs that didn't give us enough security to settle on our own.

But in March, things just started to fall into place. I got my job at the ad agency, and Karen soon got her job at the Junior League. We bought our house and officially became independent adults -- again.

So yeah, it's strange to wake up on Oct. 31, 2006, drink coffee together in our house, look out at our yard-in-progress and then head to our jobs. Something tells me that a year from now, I won't have quite as many transitions to look back on. But you never know...

Bonus:
Here's a photo of me and friend Evan before we all went out to a huge Halloween party the other night. I'll probably throw on the old bobby cape again tonight. And no, that's not a euphemism.

What about toe lickin?

Just had to pass on a funny headline that someone got away with at MSNBC for about five minutes yesterday...



So much to make fun of. I mean, I'm in advertising, and I wouldn't even try to convince people that fried chicken is good for you, whether it's regular or extra-trans-fatty.

But no, my favorite part is that I first read it as, "Finger licking is good for you." I pictured people being advised to lick their fingers half an hour a day for the boost in antioxidants. Sadly, no...

That headline was quickly replaced with this bad boy:



Yawn.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Halloween lies and my date with all the dead wives in Bluebeard's closet.

So you know that haunted house so scary that you get all your money back if you make it to the end? Or where they pay you for each floor you're able to reach? Or that's sooo scary, no one's ever finished it?

Yeah, Snopes.com says it never existed.

I remember hearing stories about these kinds of haunted houses way, way back when I was a kid. Someone told me once that visitors had to climb each story, and thuggish monsters would grab you and throw you through a hole in the floor so you couldn't go higher. Sounded like a lawsuit waiting to happen, and the Snopes article even mentions that as being one of the mythical scenarios.

I never really got into haunted houses. When I was really young, they freaked me out too much to enjoy. When I was old enough to enjoy them, they didn't scare me.

My favorite haunted house experience was at Stephens College, a women's liberal arts school in Missouri. I was doing an article on their literary/historical-themed haunted house, and women would literally jump out and knock me to the ground. Unfortunately, I only had enough money to go through five times. ;)

Friday, October 27, 2006

I know this much: He'll never get over Macho Grande.

I had a long day in a recording studio yesterday, but it was one of those times that's fun to talk about later.

Got to record a radio spot for a bank featuring Robert Hayes, aka Ted Striker from "Airplane!", aka Hyde's dad on "That '70s Show." Nice guy, fun to work with (via uplink from Birmingham to Hollywood, not in person). And he actually sounds kinda like Shatner. I'll post a clip when it's all approved and such.

Another spot (we recorded three total on Thursday) featured Hal Douglas, aka that movie voice guy. It was cool just hearing that, yes, he actually does talk like that. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to edit "In a world..." into the spot.

Not much else to say...um...

...panda sneeze!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I haven't made it to the third coat hanger yet. There's still "Alone in the Dark."

Friend Evan, who likes to point out when the fare's not fresh at Cafe Asteria, sent me a link to a great article that follows up on (or actually preceded) a previous post of mine about uber-terrible movie director Uwe Boll.

I really, truly recommend you read this article, but just in case you're too busy throwing mouse heads in a blender or whatever it is you people do at work, I've culled my favorite lines. It's like a movie trailer that shows you every funny line or big surprise. I see it as a public service.

Anyway, on to the Boll-bashing quotes from writer "Seanbaby":

• Uwe Boll makes terrible movies. Anyone who tells you otherwise is Uwe Boll.

• Uwe is supposed to be a former boxer, but I have no way of knowing. My normal method of research, Google, only spits out "sucks" and profanity when I enter his name.

• I train in Muay Thai and jujitsu, so I think boxing is to fighting what Hungry Hungry Hippos is to fighting, but—holy crap!—I couldn't pass up getting my fist near the mouth that shouted "action" on the set of House of the Dead.

• I e-mailed (my fighting experience) information, along with the reassurance that the Holocaust survivors got together and agreed he was the worst thing to come out of Germany.

• Audiences left this movie so fast that theaters have switched to playing House of the Dead instead of using a fire alarm.

• The script is about 10 pages long, with 80 more stapled to the back that read "shoot ze zombees while plays ze techno" in color crayon.

• They must not have the same swimmingpool games in Germany, but over here, the tension in a horror scene dies when the actors start screaming "Marco!"

• "Squint at ze artifact, Christian Slater! Harder! Squint harder, dammit! Now, Tara, you vil fall down on ze floor for no reason! Now get up, zen fall down again! Ah! Look out! Now it's ze monster! Cut! Perfect!"

• After you've seen two Uwe Boll movies, watching a third is like jamming a third coat hanger into your urethra. It's certainly possible, but every instinct in your body will keep you from doing it. BloodRayne is a culmination of all mankind's suck technology.

• Uwe decided not to glamorize sex, and he truly captured the awkwardness of doing it in front of an awful film crew in a vampire costume.

• "Make love to her! First, make ze funny face! Now twitch! Twitch! Now apologize and avoid ze eye contact in shame!"

Friday, October 20, 2006

Dum da dum DAAA! Dum dum DAA! (Um...that's supposed to be the A-Team theme.

I've been having so much fun with fellow Asterians Claypits and Greg on this one, I wanted to rope you all in.

The debate: Is the story-telling TV theme song a dead art? We're talking literal plot descriptions, like Gilligan's Island and the Brady Bunch. It's sparked interesting debate over on my favorite ad blog.

Within my circle, it has apparently lit a fire under the aforementioned Claypits-Greg union. Greg sent me this list of shows that he and C-Pits came up with sans-Google:

1. The Jeffersons
2. Green Acres
3. The Addams Family
4. Petticoat Junction
5. The Monkees
6. Good Times
7. Can we argue for Batman?
8. Family Guy
9. Beverly Hillbillies
10. Mr. Ed
11. BJ & the Bear
12. Boy Meets World
13. Silver Spoons
14. Patty Duke
15. Daniel Boone
16. Davy Crockett
17. Dukes of Hazzard
18. Flipper
19. The Greatest American Hero (Believe it or not, George isn't at home . . .)
20. Welcome Back Kotter
21. Larry Sanders Show (our favorite on the list
22. Spiderman
23. Wonder Woman

I subsequently disputed the Jeffersons, Good Times, Batman, Silver Spoons, Greatest American Hero and Welcome Back Kotter. I'm not arguing they didn't HAVE theme songs specific to their show, but the songs didn't spell out the plot on a first-grade level. (I mean, do you really have to point out that no one can talk to a horse?)

So I leave this open-ended debate with you. And yes, yes, I know that Family Guy, American Dad and probably a bunch of other cartoons still use this device. So let's skip past those.

And while we're here, what's your favorite TV theme song of all time? I'm not sure for me. I really like the original British Office song..."Handbags and Gladrags." A friend told me once that was Joe Cocker singing, but apparently not, if you follow that link. It's not really clear from there who sings the Office version, but apparently it's been covered quite a few times.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

A fence update, with some sentimental appreciation buried beneath.

Well, we finally have our long-awaited fence. It was the major investment we had planned for the house (aside from painting it, which likely will happen in the spring).

I keep meaning to download some photos to show the difference. I'll definitely need before-and-after shots so you can all appreciate the vegetation genocide we had to commit to make the wood fence possible.

The Griner family reunion was an interesting adventure. More than anything, it gave me a lot of time to chat with my parents. Most times when I see them, there are 20 other people fluttering around the house, and it's an incredible feat to talk to anyone for more than five minutes.

In terms of distant relatives, I can't say I got to know many very well. There were quite a few I met and wished I had known earlier. Most of my direct line was absent due to infighting or illness.

As it always does, the trip to my dad's homeland left me even more impressed with him. He truly is one of the family's best success stories in a lot of ways, and (at the risk of sounding cheesy) I was proud to tell people whose son I was. My mom is the undisputed matriarch of my entire social circle, but I really think it was my dad who inspired me to seek adventure away from home after high school but still stay close to my family.

I've never really told him how much I appreciate it, so I might as well use this snark-fueled international medium to do so, right?

Thanks, dad.

Friday, October 13, 2006

A remake of a sequel that likely won't be as good as the remake of the sequel's prequel.

Not much to say today as I prepare to head off for the old Griner Family Reunion in scenic Panhandle Florida (I'm sure I'll blog about it sometime soon...maybe share pics! w00t!), but I did stumble across something interesting today.

Hollywood's finishing up a remake of Day of the Dead, the third installment in George Romero's original zombie series. This could be uplifting news, since the remake of Dawn of the Dead was probably the best zombie movie ever.

Buuuut....it's being directed by the guy who did "Lake Placid," "Friday the 13th Part 3" and "H20" (which I think actually was the 20th installment of the Halloween series). So no good news there.

Maybe the writing will be as good as the Dawn remake... oop, no, probably not. It's written by the dude who wrote ALL THREE "Final Destination" movies, known for their subtle dialogue and societal introspection.

So keep your expectations low, people. Real, real low.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

And yet I was overlooked for the Birmingham Magazine cover on the city's most beautiful people. *Shakes fist.*

OK, sorry for being away for a while. Like I said before, it's actually been quite hectic at the office, and intense yard work has filled much of my other free time. The good news is, we've finished clearing our amazingly overgrown fenceline, and a crew is supposed to be out today to start building our new wooden fence. Yay!

In other news, my professional mentor and three-time boss, Rich Somerville, is on the cover of the Humboldt County alternative paper this week. Click here to check out the article.

Rich has been named editor of The Times-Standard in Eureka, Calif. It's a highly competitive news environment, and I'm sure he'll kick quite a bit of ass.

Just to recap, Rich and I go back a long way. When he was a grad student at New Directions for News, he hired me to be a research assistant, despite the fact I looked like a shaggy-headed Phish concert reject. Two years later, I hired him as the adviser for my student paper, The Maneater. In 2003, he hired me again to be city editor at The Union in Grass Valley, Calif., where he had been editor for six months or so. After we both had left The Union last year, he hired me yet again to be a consultant with his new venture, Media Foresight Associates.

As far as I know, I'm no longer on his payroll, but we obviously remain close.

I thought this article turned out pretty well, though I was a bit surprised that they let his critics be quoted anonymously. I'm sure they could have found some journalistic dreg to trash talk him on the record, but their spinelessness actually makes him sound even better.

I'm excited for Rich and his paper, because I've seen what he can accomplish with a good team. But if he overworks himself to a heart attack, I'll personally fly out there and slap the crap out of him. (There's yer warning, buddy.)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Something to enjoy while you wait...

I'm actually quite slammed with work this week, so I likely won't be posting until after the weekend. For now, enjoy this clip, which I'm currently using as inspiration for a commercial I'm pitching...

Monday, October 02, 2006

Yes, you should be careful googling perverts, cannibalism and "good feelings"

Answers to last week's trivia, although everyone who played along seemed to know these anyway:

1. Question: What enigmatic slang phrase, meaning "get lost," supposedly originated from cops shouting at perverts outside a New York landmark?

Answer: 23 Skidoo. Lots of theories behind this one, but this is my favorite (from Wikipedia):
New York City's Flatiron Building, on 23rd Street, is shaped as a triangle. This shape caused frequent winds, which would stir ladies' skirts, revealing ankles which, in the early years of the Twentieth Century, were seldom seen in public. Rogues would loiter around the Flatiron Building hoping for glimpses. Local constables, shooing such rogues away, were said to be giving them the 23 Skidoo.


2. Question: What was the quaint name for consensual cannibalism by stranded shipwreck survivors? It was sometimes used as a defense against subsequent murder charges.

Answer: The Custom of the Sea. This is the old cliche of drawing lots to determine who gets et. If you read the link, you'll see that it's important everyone agree to the lottery. If they don't, it's murder. A fine line.

3. Question: Which close friend of H.P. Lovecraft helped ensure the writer's works were published posthumously? This friend even finished some of Lovecraft's incomplete works.

Answer: August Derleth. He may be personally responsible for the survival of the Cthulhu Mythos, but dude was not a great writer. Lovecraft fans have to be careful, because there are "rare collections" of Lovecraft writings that were in fact story fragments fleshed out by Derleth.

4. Question: What coastal territory has been a point of political debate involving Britain and Spain since the two battled over it 300 years ago? It even led the Spanish king to snub Prince Charles quite publicly. Bonus: What was the snub?

Answer: Gibraltar. Geographically, it's the southern tip of Spain, which Spain feels is plenty of reason to annex it. But the Gibralterians (I made that up) are happy being a self-controlling British territory. The illustration with last week's questions was a painting of the 1607 Battle of Gibraltar, which actually involved the Dutch and the Spanish. (Wow, two references to the Eighty Years' War since the inception of this trivia challenge. Crazy...)

Bonus answer: The king of Spain boycotted Prince Charles' wedding to Diana because of...well, just read:
In 1981 it was announced that The Prince and Princess of Wales would fly to Gibraltar to board the Britannia as part of their honeymoon. In response, the Spanish King, Juan Carlos I refused to attend their wedding in London.


5. Question: What was the name given to a 9-year period in U.S. history when tension between political parties died down almost to the point of placidity? Of course, it exploded again in a big way, and then there was that whole Civil War thing...

Answer: The Era of Good Feelings.

Congrats to Greg for being the first to get them all right. Thanks to Dawn, Emily and Andrea for playing, too. Everyone did great. I apparently need to toughen these things up a bit.

Say what you will about bloggers...

I'm sure most of you have been following (or at least heard about) U.S. Rep. Mark Foley's resignation in light of "inappropriate" e-mails with at least one young page.

If you're like me, you've been a bit confused.

It's been easy to read his e-mails to a former Louisiana legislative page, but they're not exactly salacious. They're creepy, and I would be upset if I had a kid receiving messages asking for pictures and personal info, but news reports keep saying he resigned because of "sexually explicit" messages.

So the deal is, those Louisiana-kid messages aren't the e-mails that led him to resign. But when they were brought to light, they did lead someone to bring forward other — apparently quite graphic — e-mails and instant messages from Foley to pages.

You might also have heard about the St. Petersburg Times getting ahold of these e-mails LAST YEAR and interviewing the kid. But they never ran the story. So what happened?

Today, Poynter links to a note from the St. Pete editors about why they were, you know, a year late to the party.

The answer, of course, is a classic tale of traditional journalism versus the publish-anything-you-want world of blogging. From the editors' note:

The Louisiana boy's emails broke into the open last weekend, when a blogger got copies and posted them online. Later that week, on Thursday, a news blog at the website of ABC News followed suit, with the addition of one new fact: Foley's Democratic opponent, Tim Mahoney, was on the record about the Louisiana boy's emails and was calling for an investigation. That's when we wrote our first story, for Friday's papers.

After ABC News broke the story on its website, someone contacted ABC and provided a detailed email exchange between Foley and at least one other page that was far different from what we had seen before. This was overtly sexual, not something Foley could dismiss as misinterpreted friendliness. That's what drove Foley to resign on Friday.


So what to think? I'll be honest, this is a complex journalistic decision that could (and should) be debated at journalism schools around the world.

In this case, tossing traditional reporting guidelines to the wind led to the removal of a pedophile from Congress. Oh, I'm sorry...the removal of an alcoholic from Congress.

But does that mean that newspapers should relax their guidelines on anonymous sources and potentially devastating allegations? Hard to say.

My opinion: The documents the St. Pete Times had in hand were enough to publish something. If the validity of the messages was proven, then it's at least worth putting in a column or editorial that maybe congressmen shouldn't be asking young boys for their pictures and talking about what "great shape" other boys are in.

The newspaper industry has lost the ability to simply sit on hot documents and hope a story emerges someday. They need to become part of the forum of public debate, or else newspaper reporters will find they're not being handed much of anything worth reporting.

EDIT: Oooh, look, you can read the super-creepy instant messages! (Don't worry, ABC only includes the disturbing-yet-not-graphic portions of what was obviously the IM equivalent of a night in the hot tub with Roman Polanski.