Bad news for Bob.

Who says you can't have a little fun doing copywriting for a law firm?



Just feel like I should share some of my work every once in a while. Take care, all. Have a good weekend.

Skewering morning show 'journalists'

Just had to pass on some great video clips that get across several of my beefs with morning shows like "Today." When I did my brief consulting gig early this year, I watched these shows while I was getting ready each day, and it really did stun me to see how deplorable they really are. (15 minutes on Natalee Hollaway, 2 minutes on massive storms killing dozens, etc.)

Anyway, just as backstory, Stephen Colbert recently did a piece where he got a Florida congressman to say things that could keep him from beeing re-elected (except that he's unopposed in November). I was impressed that the guy went along with it, and I did wonder if it would have some fallout.

Here's the clip from that first piece.

Then Colbert followed up after morning shows questioned why any public official would possibly go on his show. Here's that clip. It's a bit long, but it's classic...especially the ending.

'Battlestar' is a den of lies

Following up on yesterday's post...

So last night I mentioned to a friend that I finished watching the second season of Battlestar Gallactica, and he asked me what I thought of the finale. Except that his question made no damn sense. So we talk a bit more and realize that the "Season 2.0" DVDs only contain half of the episodes from the season. My sister mentioned that this marketing gimmick has been done by Sex in the City, too.

Grr. The good news is, we're caught up with the reruns on Sci Fi, so I hopefully will catch the rest of the season on Tivo. Oh well, just thought I'd warn you, since I've been endorsing this show so much.

In case you care, here's an explanation of sorts from Wikipedia:

Following the success of the 13-episode season one, the Sci Fi Channel commissioned a full 20-episode second season. The season premiered in the U.S. on Sci Fi Channel on July 15, 2005, with the UK & Canadian premiere in January 2006. In the Fall of 2005, production on the second season halted as it was part of Sci-Fi Channel's standard production schedule normally used for its Stargate series, which was to split a 20-episode season into two parts (a "winter season" and a "summer season", to avoid heavy competition with major networks that follow a spring/fall schedule). The Sci-Fi Channel took this break as an opportunity to package the episodes aired thus far into a DVD set, calling it Season 2.0. This episode, "Pegasus," was originally 15 minutes too long for broadcast, but according to creator Ronald Moore, the production team decided to cut the episode to time rather than pad it out to fill 90 minutes, as this was deemed impractical. The longer version of "Pegasus" will appear on the Battlestar Galactica Season 2.5 DVD set when it is eventually released, which is rumored to be on September 19, 2006

Do my bidding, ye nerdy flying monkeys!

So now that I'm moderately settled in, and the old entertainment center is alive once again, I realize I'm a bit behind the times.

Other than Project Runway, I haven't really watched a TV show in upward of a year. While I view that as an accomplishment, I've also been emboldened by our recent discovery of Battlestar Gallactica, which Karen and I have been obsessing over until polishing off the second season last night.

So I have two questions for you all...

1. Are there any great hidden TV gems out there I should Tivo? Anything fun and new or mildly addictive? And no, I don't have HBO or Showtime or any other premium stuff, so keep your suggestions limited to the mouth-breather mainstream stuff.

2. I'm also reveling in the joy of "legacy hardware." I've got a big happy original Xbox with only a few games for it. With the rise of the 360, that means a pretty nice price break on the older games. (Or it means you folks have them just sitting around.) My question: What are good two-player games for the original Xbox? I'm not looking at Xbox Live stuff (Splinter Cell, etc.), just stuff that Karen and I can play together. We played one of the Hunter games and enjoyed it until it just got too repetitive. We both loved Jade Empire, so good solo game recommendations are appreciated, too.

Alright, thanks for the help. I must now endeavor to sell beer to the masses....always an uphill battle.

I can check Diabetes off that list of "things to worry about"

Because no one else has taken on the responsibility of reminding you all that coffee is good for you (and lots of coffee is lots of good for you), I have brought you even more evidence.

Jonas=Clint Eastwood with a spoon and a lot of time

Battling through sickness and foul weather, I reinforced our fence this weekend ... only to find Jonas standing in our front yard when we got home an hour later. Appears he's figured out a way to jump off an old stump and over the fence at the opposite end of the yard from where I was working.

We've admitted defeat and will likely be getting some sort of dog run while we save up to install a wood fence like the one that kept him contained at my sister's house for the past nine months.

But maybe there's a way to capitalize on my misfortune. This site is collecting video of animals escaping their confines. The goal is to use some of the footage for a wireless phone ad. Or something. But I have to say, after watching the videos already posted there, maybe Jo's not as impressive as I thought.

Ps, big props to my mother-in-law for helping turn our ocean o' boxes into an actual house-looking thing. Thanks to her visit this weekend, we got the bathroom repainted, the old laundry machines ousted, and most of the rooms organized. I've got a few before-and-after pictures to share soon, so stay tuned.

Lessons of the day

What I've learned in the past 12 hours:

1. My cat's hobbies include knocking water glasses across nightstands, shattering them across the floor, and then jumping down to play in the shards. At fricking 1 a.m.

2. My dog can climb our fence. Seriously. He's been climbing the corner, where a bush had intertwined with the chain link and given him a foothold. I watched him do it, otherwise I wouldn't believe it was possible. He's inside right now, probably learning how to disassemble consumer electronics.

3. Alka Seltzer cold & flu, dropped into orange juice, creates an Orange Julius! I hate Orange Julius, but I hate being sick more. Cheers!

Moving? A piece of advice...

Don't use Two Men and a Truck.

I don't have many powers to flex when folks anger me, but I have this blog. So thanks for letting me feel like I actually can do harm to those who trespass against me.

(If you must know, they padded a two-hour job into a five-hour job, and their manager told me today -- a week after I complained -- that he hasn't had time to complete his "investigation." Apparently it takes a Warren Commission to ask two guys if they were being lazy.)

Happy Jo-stille Day

Yep, our dog, Jonas, turns two years old today. (Well, or thereabouts. He was found wandering by the Yuba River in Northern California when he was a few weeks old, so we decided to declare Bastille Day as his birthday.)

This is an especially exciting birthday, because 2 is the magical age where dogs calm the hell down. Jo's been on a steady improvement trend for the past year, and he came a long way while we lived with my sister and her two dogs. (With a few noticeable exceptions.) Now his biggest problems are occasional barking fits at valid threats such as construction guys working two doors down. But we can trust him with anything that's not edible, and he's become great around the cats. He still licks people on the rarest occasions. Almost never.

It's a good opportunity to give Karen huge props for all the intense work and patience she put into training Jonas from the time we got him. She spent months taking him to weekly training sessions, kept him well-socialized at the dog park, and walked him regularly. Cesar Millan would be so proud.

So big thanks to Karen and to all our friends and loved ones who put up with Jonas during the past two years. He's been a great addition to the family, and I look forward to having him around for many years to come.

-----

UPDATE: Friend Britt sent this birthday present for Jonas. It's his childhood sweetheart Sadie reacting to his name...nine months after they last saw each other. Awww....

Who's up for an introspective look at our own mortality? Ooh, or 'Wedding Crashers'!

There's a great piece over on MSNBC today (yes, I link to it a lot; yes, it's the only news site I bother with) about "Netflix Guilt," which roughly refers to how you can stockpile high-brow films but then take forever to watch them. A perfect description:

Perhaps you’re familiar with the following dynamic: film is highly recommended; film appeals to intellectual and aesthetic sensibilities; film is added to the Netflix queue, and soon appears in the mail in that unassuming but somehow pushy red-striped envelope. Temperament, timing and ambiance is never quite right for film’s subject matter—in this case, brutal and depressing. Film sits on TV for a year, taking up valuable space on Netflix queue and inflicting pangs of guilt and regret. Said intellectual and aesthetic sensibilities are called into question when “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” is watched and quickly returned.

In the article, a former Netflix employee talks about holding onto "Maria Full of Grace," the gritty drug-mule drama, for a year or so and never being in the right mood for it. Karen and I have experienced this with several movies, almost always fitting the author's description. One of our worst was "Spellbound," because it's just hard to get pumped for a documentary about a spelling bee. Of course, when we finally got around to watching it, it was awesome.

Other toughies that languished on our shelf: My Life Without Me (returned unwatched after months), The Magdelene Sisters (not bad, but not great), The Heart of Me (meh) and Mrs. Brown (horrible).

I foresee a similar fate for this little number coming up in our queue.

What's your longest-shelved flick?

Pick yer pony, ProRunners.

Those of you who have escaped the addiction that is Project Runway, feel free to click away or scroll down to my thoughts on terrorism at petting zoos. As for the rest of you...

Now that the first episode has aired, who is your out-of-the-gate pick for winner?

I picked Vincent, the guy who I described as "Lou Reed if he had gone with crack instead of heroin."

How did Vincent reward my support? By showing the young uns how it's done? Nah...he put a frickin basket on his model's head, gave her some domestic-abuse sunglasses and sent her out in something that looks like a maid's uniform that got left behind a dryer for a month or two. Huzzah.

But this being Project Runway, or "ProRun" as the kids are apparently calling it, he didn't get tossed. Early on in the season, they punish those who take the easy road. And I think we all know that being batshit crazy is not an easy road. So keep it up, Vinnie! Let's see if you can make it to Episode 4, when you try to wrap a dead hobo around your model and call it a summer shawl!

Oh, and Gawker leaked a little tidbit today that one of the models gets hit by a bus this season. Don't click this link if you'd rather not know who it is.

UPDATE: Had to add this summary of My Man Vinnie from MSNBC:

Make your own "basket case" joke: Vincent is the biggest wave in the ocean of crazy. His biggest problem wasn't walking a model down the runway with a basket on her head; it was not understanding why anyone might think this was a bad idea. It's one thing to be nutty, but quite another not to know you're nutty. Vincent got by this week, but unless he wises up to the fact that a basket is not a hat, he won't last long. The whole thing was still worth it just to hear Heidi say, "Can we see it once without the hat?"

Here's hoping jihadists don't target the TCBY where I used to work.

This little gem was hidden in an MSNBC story today about how a national Homeland Security database of potential terror targets contains some...um...unlikely entries:

Instead, the department’s database of vulnerable critical infrastructure and key resources included the Old MacDonald's Petting Zoo in Huntsville, Ala., a bourbon festival, a bean festival and the Kangaroo Conservation Center in Dawsonville, Ga.

Always good to see my home town making the news.

Gays slightly outnumbered by redheads. Oh wait, I guess it's not an either-or thing.

Interesting site linked on Adfreak today...

Using the example of a dog that moos like a cow, the Web site borndifferent.com presents a lucid position that being gay is simply a genetic outcome, like being blue-eyed or red-haired:



I had an interesting discussion about this (kindof) with my mom the other day. I was saying that I felt (like a few professional reviewers) X-Men III contained a lot of metaphor for being a gay teenager. I asked a gay friend about that, and he said he felt the sub-plot of Angel (the winged son of the guy who created the "cure" for mutantism) was blatantly about being gay, but that the rest was focused on other comparisons with teenage life.

But to me, it definitely seemed "the cure" in the movie was a commentary on whether you can really cure who you are. I suppose you could argue it also pertained to people who suppress their cultural heritage or personal morals to fit in.

Just thought I'd pass this on. I'll be interested to hear if any of you have thoughts on it. And please, let's not focus on the fact that my dog moos and has humped many, many more of his male colleagues than female. I think we all know Jonas was born different.

We are moved in. Kinda.

We finally got moved into the new house this weekend, so I feel like I should have more to say. But I'm just so damn tired, and there's so much left to unpack.

We've been on a spending spree for the house, and that will probably need to slow down soon to let our income catch up. But hey, someone needs to keep Lowe's and Home Depot in business. Oh, and we're making another trip to Ikea in Atlanta soon to pick up some living room chairs and this bad boy.

Sorry I don't have much more in me to blog about today. Big thanks to everyone who helped out with my huge move, especially my sister and parents, who have been tireless in their assistance. Within a week or two we might even be able to have them over to do something other than unpack, clean, paint or repair.

Ps, e-mail me if you need our new address. I'll also have a new landline number soon (our cells are a bit spotty in the new place).

Blog entry

MSNBC is putting on some kind of clinic today for bad headline writing. Earlier, they took a story with the headline "Islamic radicalization feared in Europe's jails" and made the front-page headline read "Jail Bait." Bwa?

Maybe they overcorrected by deciding to be super straight-forward with the old "Press conference" headline. I can't wait for the headlines "Annual shareholder conference call" and "World bank symposium." And they thought "Jail Bait"" was titillating!

And the Comanche chief was born in Berlin...

Finally, someone — namely Slate.com — has joined me in the brave position that "The Searchers" is not a great movie.

Feel free to read the Slate article if you're unfamiliar with the mind-numbing racism and slow-moving grit that is "The Searchers." I had to sit through it in a college film class, and I never heard an adequate explanation of why. Sure, it's got some epic-ness to it, but that's no reason to canonize it. Hell, "Lawrence of Arabia" is about 20 times more epic...and actually good.

Instead of debating this one movie, I figured I'd open up discussion of your pet peeves. What's movie do you hate that's considered a cinematic masterpiece?

My vote: "The Maltese Falcon." Watch this after watching "The Big Sleep" and you'll wonder why more people seem to remember "Falcon." It's moronic, confusing, mildly homophobic and poorly acted by some of the era's best actors. But if you haven't seen the original "Big Sleep," you need to.

My runner-up: "Annie Hall."

This stuff's gonna make one killer omelette.

Frat boys. They know how to party. They know how to drink.

They apparently do not know how to clean. I know, I know! I was shocked, too!

Last night, Karen and I finally got in the door of our new house so we could start painting the garish pink-and-black bathroom. That was its own messy affair, but I'll spare you on that. No, what's worth mentioning is the stuff that the previous owner (the aforementioned frat boy) left behind for us.

A shortened manifest:

• Half a gallon of milk. (At least the fridge was still on.)
• A frozen pie.
• Three half-empty boxes of cereal, the huge family-of-14 size boxes.
• A few rolls of toilet paper — on the floor of the study.
• A half-dozen used band-aids on the bathroom floor.
• About a dozen boxes of macaroni and cheese.
• Two cans Budweiser.
• Two cans Miller Lite.
• Two bottles Sam Adams Sumerfest. (Yeah, guess which two beers we drank...)
• Eight eggs.
• A frozen lasagne (actually a pretty good one).
• Christmas lights.
• A mountain of partially empty paint cans. But we'll be optimistic and say they were partially full.
• A massive cylinder of Kraft parmesan cheese.
• Pills for his dog's congestive heart failure.
• A 1/16th full bottle of wine.

OK, ready for the kicker? This kid is a landlord. He rents another property to a couple nearby. Let's ignore the question of how a recent graduate has so much property *cough*mom'saRealtor*cough* and just ask ourselves how a landlord could leave a place looking like a sad bachelor just died there. I haven't even mentioned the spooky black clumps that seem to have turned the driveway into a Six Flags for ants.

But I should also note that the place was overall moderately clean, and only the bathroom needs painting. Within a few months, this mild annoyance will just be a fun story to tell about our first day in our first house.

Hard to serve that life term now...

Just a random thought....

How different would this obit have read, say, five or six years ago?

HOUSTON - Enron Corp. founder Kenneth Lay, who was convicted of helping perpetuate one of the most sprawling business frauds in U.S. history, has died of a heart attack in Colorado. He was 64.

9 out of 10 lapdogs agree: Laps are warm and cozy!

Drifting political for just a moment, I wanted to share some thoughts on a recent freedom-of-the-press debate that's created quite a buzz within the circles that get a buzz from such things.

The issue: The New York Times and LA Times recently broke a story about the U.S. government secretly tracking international banking to net terrorists. Not a big shocker to most folks, I'm guessing. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I assume that just about any kind of financial account is ripe for government snooting. That's why I buy my shoulder-mounted rockets with cash.

The strangeness: The Wall Street Journal also ran a story about the program the same day, but their editorial page then slammed The New York Times for running its story.

The question: Wha?

The answer: The WSJ story was based on authorized leaks from the government, not actual reporting that uncovered the secrets. At least, that's what the WSJ editorial says...and it says it with pride.

The second question: Wha?

Here's the WSJ editorial's assessment of how its paper got the story. For those of you outside journalism, I should note it isn't tremendously rare for a government to pad the blow of a negative story by feeding it to a more sympathetic (read, "spineless") news outlet:

Around the same time, Treasury contacted Journal reporter Glenn Simpson to offer him the same declassified information. Mr. Simpson has been working the terror finance beat for some time, including asking questions about the operations of Swift, and it is a common practice in Washington for government officials to disclose a story that is going to become public anyway to more than one reporter. Our guess is that Treasury also felt Mr. Simpson would write a straighter story than the Times, which was pushing a violation-of-privacy angle.

In a great letter, Washington journalist Ron Kampeas responded with:

If I were Glenn Simpson, I would leap over that much-vaunted wall (vaunt over it?) between editorial and opinion and slug someone on the Wall Street Journal editorial page for making me look like a government shill.

My take: Now, I don't want this to seem like a judgment on whether it was right to publish this bit of super-secret info. I'm going to trust The New York Times when it says it put an intense amount of effort into its decision. I've written and edited quite a few stories that government officials said would cause chaos in the streets, but I have yet to see said chaos.

My big concern here is that The Wall Street Journal's editorial page accomplishes a double whammy against its own industry.

First, it constantly refers to "The New York Times" as being a liberal rag that hates the government, despite noting early on that the editorial pages and news pages are clearly divided (a divide I'm sure the WSJ reporters are reminding people about now, too).

This just feeds the ignorant belief that newspapers are innately liberal or conservative and that reporters all have political agendas. I've known a lot of journalists in my day, and it's the extremely rare exception that lets a personal view cloud his or her approach to the news. This simpleton belief that news outlets take one side or the other is a political tactic that, if carried to its logical extreme, could lead to a propaganda state.

Second, The Wall Street Journal imples -- well, flat out states -- that the proper role of a newspaper is to wait until the government gives a big green light to every story. They defend this with the tired excuse that we're at war. Hey guess what? We're always at war. That's not a reason to shackle the First Amendment or assail the truth as espionage.

In order to save itself, the newspaper industry must prove it still offers something other outlets don't. The New York Times and LA Times have spent the past few months doing just that. The Wall Street Journal editorial chastises such hard work and tacitly encourages a new explosion of partisan blogging.

My advice for the WSJ editorial page: When you want to poison your enemy, poison his glass. Not the pitcher you're all sharing.

Even more good news? Oh yeah.

Wait, didn't I sell my soul to the corporate devil exactly so I wouldn't have to do things like work the Monday before a Tuesday holiday? *sigh*

Anyway, I was so excited about the house the other day, I forgot to share the other big news. Karen got a job! Actually, she got two...on the same day.

She'll be doing fund development type stuff for The Junior League of Birmingham, which is the "dream job" she's been after for months. So that was great news. Also, she'll be doing some part-time work at Pottery Barn, and we'll probably just dump her earnings right back into her discount at the store.

So be sure to congratulate Karen if you get a chance. It took a lot of patience and hard work to land the job, and I'm obviously proud of her.

In other weird house news, we'll apparently be moving in sooner than expected. The owner wasn't supposed to be out for 10 days or so, but he has since called back and said he'll be out today. Yeah, today. So we might spend our holiday painting a bathroom tomorrow! Woohoo!

OK, back to work. Hope the rest of you are having a nice day off or a quiet day of unappreciated effort.