Ah....back to sweet, sweet debt.

So I honest-to-God own a house now. Crazy.

We closed today, handing over a big fat check that empties the savings we spent the last year (and then some) accumulating. Of course, I get a big fat asset that will probably appreciate freakishly well in the coming years.

All in all, I'm damn excited about this.

The only surprise today was that the owner wants to move out even sooner than we thought. He'll be out on Monday, July 11. That's roughly a week early. So that means we get another week to clean, prep, maybe even paint the fugly bathroom.

Well, there was one other surprise. Turns out, we're only the third owners. The builder decided not to move in when it was finished in 1957, so he sold it to a woman who lived there right up until three years ago. Then the current owner bought it from her. That probably explains why it's in such great condition...I doubt she put many miles on it.

Right, well, I'm off to enjoy holiday weekend festivities (although I have to be back at work on Monday, so it's not much of a holiday weekend). Hope you all have a great few days.

Everything comes back to Cthulhu.

I try not to post too many ads on here, mainly because I don't want this to become yet another advertising blog.

But this one's worth it....



There's another here and here.

Over on Adfreak, someone points out that this is probably based on a Showtime Masters of Horror episode called "Dreams at the Witch House," which is based on an H.P. Lovecraft story. See? Everything I love can be traced to Cthulhu. I'm pretty sure Karen sprung from one of his vile subterranean tentacles. But it was probably a tentacle that looked really cute in pigtails!

Arsenic and old face.

Ready for the answers to yesterday's quiz?

First off, big props to Dale for getting all five correct on the first guess. Dawn beat him to the punch a bit by getting all five on her second guess. Bill and Scott got 4/5. Christian got...creative, but we'll get to his alternative answers in a minute.

The correct answers:

• This leopard-looking cat eats monkeys and lives as far north as Texas. Chances are, the monkey supply is pretty limited there. Good thing it also eats snakes, rodents and such.

Answer: Ocelot. Lots of guesses for Jaguar and even one guess for Margay, which is also called the "Tree Ocelot." I probably should have been more specific on this one.

Bonus trivia: The name "ocelot" comes from the Aztec "ocelotl," but that word generally translates to "jaguar." I'm guessing the Aztecs didn't spot the subtle species differences between the large cats eating their monkeys.

• This herb is eaten both as a seed and as leaves. Its name stems from the fact it smells like bugs. Mmmm.

Answer: Coriander, also known as cilantro. In Britain, they call cilantro "coriander" as well, which confused the hell out of me the first time I made a Naked Chef recipe that called for "two handfuls of coriander."

About the name, here's a note from Wikipedia:

The name coriander derives from Latin coriandrum, which was first noted by Pliny. The Latin word derives in turn from Greek corys, a bedbug, plus -ander, "resembling", and refers to the supposed similarity of the scent of the crushed leaves to the distinctive odour of bedbugs (largely forgotten in this age of insecticides).

I had one guess for sesame, but it sounds like very few humans eat the leaves.

• A centuries-old story about this man, who earned a "deserved death," may stem from a real person who tricked his jailor into shaving his face with arsenic. In his defense, that did take the hair off.

Answer: Faust. This one proved the toughest, although three people got it. Here's the story, again via Wikipedia:

The origin of the protagonist's name and persona remains unclear. It is widely assumed to be based on the figure of the German magician and alchemist Dr. Johann Georg Faust (approximately 1480–1540), a dubious magician and alchemist probably from Knittlingen, Württemberg, who obtained a degree in divinity from Heidelberg University in 1509. According to one account Faust's poor reputation became legendary while he was in prison, where in exchange for wine he "offered to show a chaplain how to remove hair from his face without a razor; the chaplain provided the wine and Faustus provided the chaplain with a salve of arsenic, which removed not only the hair but the flesh."

My other clue was his "deserved death," which stemmed from the early story "The Historie of the Damnable Life, and Deserved Death of Doctor Iohn Faustus," the inspiration for Christopher Marlowe's "The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus."

• This U.S. ship, torpedoed by an ally, was the only one ever attacked during peacetime without a subsequent Congressional investigation. Whether the strike was intentional or not is still debated today.

Answer: The USS Liberty. A spy ship, the Liberty was nearly sunk by Israeli fighter planes and torpedo boats during the Six-Day War of 1967. It's still a controversial topic, and it pops up in investigative news shows and conspiracy theories every once in a while.

In the outstanding book "Body of Secrets," James Bamford theorizes that the attack stemmed from Israeli war atrocities that might have been recorded by the NSA ship. Bamford does a great job describing the attack and ensuing cover-up, but I personally doubt his theory. I think Israel was just in a mood to shoot anything that moved, and they had been assured at the beginning of the war that there were no US ships in the region. Feel free to post your own thoughts on this one.

While several of you got this one, Christian floated a unique answer:

On August 21, 1943, the SS Cape Mohican was in a convoy in the Mediterranean when an escort vessel accidentally fired a torpedo during a nighttime alarm. The crippled Cape Mohican limped to Malta and was subsequently towed to England for refitting.

Not a bad answer, except for the whole "peacetime" requirement of the question. However, when I revisted this question, I realized "peacetime" might be misleading, since the Six-Day War was going on.

Oh well, moving on...

• Just this year, Western Union stopped offering telegraphs. But what major company still has "telegraph" as part of its name?

Answer: American Telephone and Telegraph, aka AT&T, Yeah, everyone got this one.

Thanks to everyone who took part. The rest of you, try to take part the next time I get bored enough to do this again.

But I'm pretty sure J.D. Salinger's dead.

Am I the only one here who had no idea Harper Lee is still alive? I guess forty years of silence can give that impression.

Another quiz to pass the time

Feel free to e-mail me answers or post them in the comments:

• This leopard-looking cat eats monkeys and lives as far north as Texas. Chances are, the monkey supply is pretty limited there. Good thing it also eats snakes, rodents and such.

• This herb is eaten both as a seed and as leaves. Its name stems from the fact it smells like bugs. Mmmm.

• A centuries-old story about this man, who earned a "deserved death," may stem from a real person who tricked his jailor into shaving his face with arsenic. In his defense, that did take the hair off.

• This U.S. ship, torpedoed by an ally, was the only one ever attacked during peacetime without a subsequent Congressional investigation. Whether the strike was intentional or not is still debated today.

• Just this year, Western Union stopped offering telegraphs. But what major company still has "telegraph" as part of its name?

Working's great...maybe I should do more of it.

I'm quickly waking up to the economic reality of the fact that I've bought a house. Our footloose and rent-free lifestyle is about to crash to a halt, although I'm freakishly excited about having our own place to play with.

The good news is, Karen expects to hear back this week on a few job possibilities, and I'm still sure that she'll find a good fit within the next month or two. The openings have been few, and she's jumped all over them as soon as they appear. Her job-application kung fu has improved each time, too.

For now, I'm considering returning to the cafe (the Starbucky one, not this one) a few nights a week. A couple four-hour shifts would help cover some utility bills without overstressing me. I actually get kinda restless with how non-exhaustive this job is. Also, I miss the cafe. The coworkers, the customers, the discount...it was all great. I talked to my advertising boss today, and he's cool with me taking the second job, as long as it doesn't conflict with this one. I doubt it will.

I had lunch with a cafe coworker today who also works a full-time job and a third job bartending for special events. He says the extra money has made a big difference for him, but it was mostly from the bartending. I just don't feel up to losing my weekend nights, though.

Thoughts? Any of you working multiple jobs out there?

Anybody got a machete?

The house inspection went off better than expected today, and the inspector even told us that it was a "great investment." Not bad, especially considering the last time he looked at a house for us, the recommended fixes were estimated at more than $50,000.

The most uplifting aspect to me, though, was the realization that the architect's drawing of the original house is framed on one of the walls. It shows the garish green-and-black exterior (don't believe the photo...I assure you it's green) was originally natural wood. It looks incredible, especially without all the overgrown shrubs that besiege the place now.

The interior is apparently good to go, except for outdated electrical wiring and the need for new smoke detectors. Outside, we're going to repaint the vertical-panel siding to look like the original.

We'll also be pulling out bushes, dead trees, vines and overgrown weeds by the ton. That probably won't be a blast during the summer months, but we'll suffer through.

Next stop, July 16 move-in.

And now, the answers.

Thanks to everyone who tried the newest trivia quiz. No one got a perfect score, but we had a lot of good guesses. With no further ado, here are the answers:

• Which country, despite having an ancient history, was only briefly an empire at the turn of the 20th century? Now it's a republic ... Partly in name, partly in truth.

Answer: Korea. The Korean Empire existed solely from 1897 to 1910, when it was annexed by Japan. There's an interesting but complicated history to it, if you follow that link.

No one got this one, and that might be because I was a bit too vague. The countries guessed were China, Russia and Germany. Each are good guesses but lasted quite a bit longer than the Korean Empire. My clue about "partly in name" stems from the fact that North Korea calls itself the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (but is a communist dictatorship), and South Korea calls itself (more accurately) the Republic of Korea.

• Name the architect who built a masterpiece home that was (initially, at least) a sore point for its owner. The home shares a name with an under-appreciated inventor.

Answer: Ludwig Mies van der Rohe. Dawn nailed this one.

The home was the Farnsworth House. It shares a name with one of my favorite American inventors, Philo T. Farnsworth. He invented the television, though RCA stole it out from under him. He also lived in my old home of Fort Wayne, Ind. (One of two Griner-related clues in this quiz.)

The Farnsworth House was quite a feat of architecture (and looks somewhat like my new house), but it was embroiled in legal battles between the owner and architect...who were believed to be gilted lovers.

• Which independently minded Western community is named for the 12th president?

Answer: The Great Republic of Rough and Ready, Calif. An easy one if you've ever been to visit me in California. Rough and Ready, named for President Zachary "Old Rough and Ready" Taylor, seceded from the Union briefly and still celebrates this short-lived accomplishment every year. It's a fun place. Go see the Fruit Jar Pickers play there sometime.

Dawn, Sadiebelle and Christian got this one.

• What man is often credited with keeping Islam from dominating Europe?

Answer: Charles Martel. Martel organized a brilliant, highly outnumbered defense of France against a massive army of horse-mounted Muslims, who had marched relatively unchallenged across Spain.

From Wikipedia:

He is best remembered for winning the Battle of Tours in 732, which has traditionally been characterized as an action saving Europe from the Muslim expansionism which had devoured Iberia. "There were no further Muslim invasions of Frankish territory, and Charles's victory has often been regarded as decisive for world history, since it preserved western Europe from Muslim conquest and Islamization." [1]

A fascinating general and an incredible battle. If you're interested, I would recommend the book Carnage and Culture, which discusses this battle at length.

Scott was the only one to get this answer. Good job!

• What was the date a man-made object first touched the moon?

Answer: Sept. 14, 1959. The Soviet Union's Luna 2 probe crashed into the surface of the moon. For some reason, a lot of sites list the date as Sept. 12 (Scott's guess, and the answer I originally had on my key.) But it seems there's pretty clear record it was Sept. 14. Dawn and Christian both got this one.

BTW, doesn't this thing totally look like that probe that Chewbacca yells at in Empire?

That's all for now. If I get some time next week, we'll do it again.

Another puzzler for you.

Feel free to post your answers in the comments section. Try not to read any comments until you've figured out the answers for yourself. No prize on the line this time, except bragging rights:

This one's a five-parter.

• Which country, despite having an ancient history, was only briefly an empire at the turn of the 20th century? Now it's a republic ... Partly in name, partly in truth.

• Name the architect who built a masterpiece home that was (initially, at least) a sore point for its owner. The home shares a name with an under-appreciated inventor.

• Which independently minded Western community is named for the 12th president?

• What man is often credited with keeping Islam from dominating Europe?

• What was the date a man-made object first touched the moon?

OK go.

-------

CLARIFICATION: Friend Dawn e-mailed me her answers, and one of her guesses made me realize I should clarify the first one. This empire existed only around the turn of the century. I realized it could be interpreted as an empire that died shortly after 1900.

How about that World Cup? Go... World Cup!

Oh yeah, my plan for international success is totally working. Check out how the Asterian readership has evolved in just a few weeks:

As of June 22 (today):


As of June 13:


We're getting huge in northern Spain. Probably thanks to our "sister cafe."

Of course, my plan of mentioning the World Cup repeatedly probably doesn't have much payoff, since I haven't actually followed it. We're doing good, right?

Quick house/leg updates

Well, we've signed the contract on the house, so there's no chance of losing it. Of course, we've been this far before. Our home inspection is Friday, but we're feeling pretty good. My guess is he'll have a problem with the electrical system and the roof. The age of the roof is unknown, and the house is from the '50s, so it'll probably need some grounding work on the wiring.

Still, without a crawlspace/basement/Viet Cong tunnel underneath, our chances for mold or foundation problems are pretty minimal. Fingers crossed. It was also owned by the Realtor's son, so I can't imagine she let him buy a deathtrap three years ago.

It's looking like we'll move in around mid-July. Karen also continues to have good leads on the job front, so things are looking pretty good for us.

As for the knee, I'm about 95% recovered from surgery. I graduated physical therapy last night, meaning I can return to moderate physical activity. It's still painful to kneel down and pivot on the bad leg, so my interpretive dance career might have to stay on hold for a while. Yoga, rollerblading and competitive Muay Thai kickboxing should be OK, though.

Let's go Dutch.

Thanks to everyone who tried the trivia challenge / Google scavenger hunt yesterday. Ready for the asnwer?

Let's revisit the clues...

• I'm thinking of a war.
• It was in Europe.
• It involved Britain, but only briefly.
• One of the two combatants still honors the other today, probably daily.
• It involves the worship of false idols.
• And a colorful noble.
• And a few sieges.
• And had a cheesy ending.

As I mentioned yesterday, Scotttx75 was the first to guess the right answer. No one else got it, though loyal reader Bill was on the right track.

Answer: The Eighty Years' War (aka The Dutch Revolt).

Here's Wikipedia's summary:

The Eighty Years' War, or Dutch Revolt (1568–1648), was the revolt of the Seventeen Provinces in the Netherlands against the Spanish king. Spain was initially successful in suppressing the rebellion. In 1572 however the rebels conquered Brielle, and the northern provinces became first de facto, and in 1648 officially, independent as the United Provinces of the Netherlands or Dutch Republic, which rapidly grew to become a world power through its merchant shipping and experienced a period of economic, scientific and cultural growth.

The clues explained:

• It involved Britain, but only briefly.

In 1585, Elizabeth I sent the Earl of Leicester to be lord-regent of the Dutch, who had actually been offering their crown to England and France in exchange for help with the war. But the earl was a failure and soon went home. However, the English did help in the 1586 Battle of Zutphen. England also helped mediate a cease-fire in 1609.

To be fair, the English defeat of the Spanish Armada (indirectly connected to this war) probably made it possible for the Dutch to defeat the Armada 50 years later at the Battle of the Downs. That's generally considered the point when Spain stopped being a leading world power. Moving on...

• One of the two combatants still honors the other today, probably daily.

To this day, the Dutch national anthem, the Wilhelmus, includes this stanza:

The king of Spain
I have always honoured.

Why? Well, we'll get to that in a second.

• It involves the worship of false idols.

From Wikipedia:

On Assumption of the Virgin day in 1566 a small incident outside the Antwerp cathedral started a massive iconoclastic movement by Calvinists, who stormed the churches to destroy statues and images of Catholic saints. According to the Calvinists these statues represented worship of false idols, which they felt was heretical. Philip saw no other option than to send an army.

• And a colorful noble.

This was the clue I thought would be too easy. It's William of Orange. The problem is, if you Google him, you get the wrong William of Orange. Bill caught the reference but guessed I was talking about the Williamite War in Ireland.

Here's Wiki's recap of the first William of Orange, who began The Eighty Years' War and is the subject of the Dutch national anthem.

William I of Orange was stadtholder of the provinces Holland, Zeeland and Utrecht, and Margrave of Antwerp. After the arrest of Egmont and Horne he fled from the Burgundian Empire to the lands ruled by his wife's father - the Elector Count of Saxony. All his lands and titles in the Netherlands were forfeited and he was branded an outlaw.
In 1568 William returned to try and drive the highly unpopular Duke of Alba from Brussels. He did not see this as an act of treason against the king (Philip II). This view is reflected in today's Dutch national anthem, the Wilhelmus, in which the last lines of the first stanza read: den koning van Hispanje heb ik altijd geëerd (I have always honoured the king of Spain)

• And a few sieges.

In Antwerp, Breda, Haarlem, Ostend and several other places.

• And had a cheesy ending.

The war concluded in 1648 with the Treaty of Munster. Hah, I'm so clever.

The picture I included with the riddle, by the way, was The Battle of Nieuwpoort.

Thanks again for playing. In honor of his mastery of obscurity, Scott gets my copy of Jude the Obscure. To be delivered as soon as I can find it and throw it in the mail. Huzzah.

OK, so, thoughts on whether this is worth doing again? Was it actually fun or just frustrating? Let me know in the comments section.

We have a winner!

Former Scholar's Bowl team captain Scott has already guessed the mystery war. He nailed it about four hours after it was posted. But let's see who else can figure it out before day's end.

If you folks enjoy this, I might make a regular feature out of it. Let me know if you're interested.

Breaking news: We've bought a house. (Again)

I know, I've said it before. But once again, we've reached an agreement on a house. I still think it looks crazy on the outside, partly because of the green-and-black paint job, but the interior is incredible. It's also a great deal for Hoover, which has good schools and all that jazz.

Here are the mandatory photos...(from the Realty site...I hope to have better ones soon):



This central room is amazing. It's perfect for entertaining. The kitchen, dining room and living room all flow right into each other, and there's even an expanded sunroom-type area off to the side.





These are two of the three bedrooms. They're all spacious, and there are two full baths, too.

We plan to move in a month from now, so I'll keep you posted.

OK smarties, let's put those brains to the test.

A little mystery to help kill some time today, in honor of the influx of my former high school Scholar's Bowl colleagues to the Cafe.

(Don't worry. Everyone's welcome to compete.)

The only rule: E-mail me the solution — don't write it in the comments section. The first person to get it right will get some sort of prize (better than the last one, I promise). In the comments section, I will post how the solvers did. Anyone who solves it will get props.

On to the riddle...

I'm thinking of a war.
It was in Europe.
It involved Britain, but only briefly.
One of the two combatants still honors the other today, probably daily.
It involves the worship of false idols.
And a colorful noble.
And a few sieges.
And had a cheesy ending.

OK folks, what is it?

Drop an e-mail to griner (at) gmail (dot) com. For bonus points, explain as many of my clues as possible.

Creeping slowly toward a living space of our own.

Well, we're in negotiations on yet another house, this time in Hoover. It sounds like we're making headway on the offer and might have a number settled by the end of today.

Big thanks to everyone who's given us support and good cheer through this bizarre, often-stressful house hunt. I'll let you know how it goes.

He rallies the Midwest. He kills sickly dogs.

A great line from a Slate piece on Garrison Keillor...

When he speaks, blood pressures drop across the country, wild horses accept the saddle, family dogs that have been hanging on at the end of chronic illnesses close their eyes and drift away.

The article walks a strange line between praise and punishment for Keillor, host of A Prairie Home Companion. It's the journalistic equivalent of the Southern expression, "Well bless your heart." The piece actually captures my contradictory thoughts on Keillor, too. Is he brilliant or tranquilizing?

My one quick side note. There's an obscure Ken Burns documentary about the history of radio and TV, and Keillor makes some fascinating observations. That was the turning point for me, when I actually saw him talking about something other than Wisconsin harvest seasons or whatever. I also gained respect for him when I heard him give a random soliloquy about the word "eighth," and how a strange bit of inflection (almost like a mini-hiccup) keeps it from sounding like "aeeth." Props to a guy who can still ponder the unpondered.

Three reasons to love the world on this hazy Friday

1. I got briefed on a new ad campaign today, and the writeup I was given said customers will like these snacks because they are "sophisticated flavor products to satisfy their sweat cravings." Mmmmmm.....

2. Folgers has what might be the best ad in rotation right now (that doesn't involve scantily clad soccer players). I mean, there's no way I'll ever drink Folgers, as long as God leaves my free will intact. But it's a great ad. There's another nice non-coffee spot here, but it's more just pretty than fun.

3. There's a documentary out about the reunion of the best band of all time. And if you're in New Zealand sometime soon, you might get to see it. Otherwise, it'll probably just sit on hold in your Netflix queue for a while.

Catching you up on the house hunt, Snoop Dogg

A few people have asked, so I should probably point out that we did not get the house I recently mentioned was a possibility. Someone else had put a "verbal offer" on the place, which isn't really kosher with most Realtors.

We continue plugging away at the house hunt, but it has been pretty trying for Karen. The places in our price range always have some crazy quirks ("What, who doesn't want to do laundry in the kitchen?!") but we're still optimistic. When Karen inevitably lands a job, that will help us be able to consider some more expensive places, although we'd still like to stay on the lower end.

On an unrelated note (except in the sense of disappointment), this year's massive City Stages festival in Birmingham just doesn't quite have the kind of lineup that would pull me into a crowd of drunken hilljacks:

Snoop Dogg
Hank Williams, Jr.
The Allman Brothers Band
The Beach Boys
Yellowcard
Shinedown
Trapt
Puddle of Mudd
Los Lonely Boys
Marty Stuart and His Fabulous Superlatives
John Hiatt with The North Mississippi Allstars
The Derek Trucks Band
Oteil and the Peacemakers
Brandi Carlile
The subdudes
Radney Foster
James McMurtry
The Plimsouls
Eliot Morris
Tommy Emmanuel
Alexi Murdoch
Joshua Radin
Little Memphis Blues Orchestra

I haven't been to a City Stages since 1996, but that was when I discovered Squirrel Nut Zippers. They were buried in the lineup, and we just went because their style sounded cool. So there might be some gems hiding in there. Thoughts?

How I narrowly escaped being gouged

Let me offer everyone one piece of advice: Live with someone who works for Blue Cross.

Oh sure, I realize it's not practical for everyone, but....

So the other day, I got my knee sliced open by a trained professional. I was knocked out at the time by another trained professional at the low cost of $496. Before that, I had to get about $200 worth of doc visits and $50 worth of x-rays.

But the real kicker (hah! a pun!) was the MRI. At $1,274, it was likely the most expensive 20 minutes of my life. (But you never know, I might visit Thailand some day...)

The beauty of the whole thing is that Blue Cross paid everything without me having to file any paperwork. Wait, if they did, why do I have a $1,274 bill from the MRI place? It says: "Your insurer has either rejected or paid your claim. The remaining balance is your responsibility."

The fun part was, this was my first bill from the whole surgery adventure, so I was a little bit scared to death about how much I was apparently going to shell out.

Luckily, my sister works at Blue Cross and immediately noted that the MRI guy was very likely lying and/or wrong. And yes, she was right. The MRI folks have already been paid by Blue Cross, and I'm sure someday I'll have to pay out a portion of it.

She says this happens all the time, thus I'm writing this post. Whether through fraud, incompetence or simple error, medical practitioners apparently bill people often for what they've already received from the insurance company. Just something to keep in mind next time one of you gets a bionic implant or baboon heart.